


Yellow

by archandink



Category: 2NE1, Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Comfort, Crossover, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24075115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archandink/pseuds/archandink
Summary: You are the elephant in the room,He's too afraid to acknowledge and to poachYet, he keeps you underneath his eyelids every night.
Relationships: Choi Seunghyun | T.O.P./You, Kwon Jiyong | G-Dragon & You, Kwon Jiyong | G-Dragon/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 5





	1. Kairos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which jiyong is baffled about the situation between his group and you.

* * *

  
**K** **airos**  
(n.) the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for actions, words or movement; also, weather.

* * *

⚜

**Jiyong**

"Let's save that part." I sighed and sunk myself on the swivel chair. Seungri went out of the isolation booth and the audio engineer played his recorded part.

It was good but I think, he could do better than that. I looked at Seungri who is seriously listening to his voice. All of us are present today and we're seriously working for this next album. We had a talk with YG regarding the promotion and agreed that we promote the songs one by one if not, by two's. 

"It sounds kind of awkward at the last line. I'm gonna repeat it again, hyung." Seungri said. I hummed in response. 

There was a knock on the door and it revealed Jinusean, Epik High, Psy hyung and YG himself. I nodded to them and gave them a smile. I wonder why they're all present here? They sat on the sofa and started chatting with Youngbae and the others.

"Have you guys eaten already?" YG asked. 

"We're just going to finish maknae's part and continue tomorrow."

"Jiyong-ah, why don't you guys, come with us for dinner. It's Psy's treat tonight. Don't worry!" Psy hyung was shocked by Sean hyung's invitation.

"Yah! If you were going to invite these kids over then I should not have volunteered to pay the food tonight! Ji Yong alone can pay for all of us here! Yah, Jiyong-ah, why don't you treat all of us seniors tonight? huh?" Psy hyung replied. I answered with a laugh.

At 8:38 p.m., We were done recording Seungri's part. We headed down the parking lot and we all stopped chatting and walking. We saw a girl standing beside one of the pillars shifting back and forth looking down on her feet. She took out a thing and placed it on her ear then TOP hyung pulled out his phone. We shot him a teasing look. He just smirked and answered the phone away from us.

"She looks like she belongs to a family of a chaebol."[1] Tablo hyung said.

The guys started chatting away waiting for Seunghyun to finish his call. However, the girl caught Jiyong's attention. He didn't know why he was fixated on the girl. Maybe because of the way she dressed. In a white smocked high neck blouse slightly tucked inside her black high rise skinny jeans with what seems to be a familiar iconic gucci tiger stitched on the back right pocket, black ripley platform oxfords and a black chanel quilted caviar flap bag. Even without seeing her face, Jiyong somehow felt intrigued by her. Her aura radiates sophistication and enigma. 

TOP finally approached the mysterious girl and ruffled her hair. The girl, undeniably annoyed by TOP's gesture smacked his arm. The older man winced playfully and pointed to his company. TOP removed his beret and placed it on top of her head then proceeded to arrange his grey scarf around her neck. The girl, quite confused, was pulled by TOP towards them and made her pay her respects to them. 

"Wah! Y/n, it's you!?" Seungri exclaimed. Y/n greeted us with a small smile. 

"It's been so long since we've seen you." YG interrupted. 

"Since when did you become more feminine looking, Y/n?" Seungri asked. He can't seem to believe that he was looking at her.

"Just tonight, I guess. The spell will wear off by midnight and the next day, I'll return to being the Y/n you know." she replied. 

"Why don't you join us for dinner, Y/n." Taeyang suggested. 

Bigbang and Y/n shared the same vehicle to get to the place. The ride is pretty decent for everyone except for Jiyong. The guys were chatting with Y/n leaving him to remain quiet for the whole ride. He slightly chastised himself for acting like what he's acting right now. Daesung noticed his hyung being unusually silent so he tried to include him on their conversation. 

"Right hyung?" Daesung asked. Jiyong on the other hand was busy talking inside his head to hear Daesung. Seungri placed a heavy hand on his shoulder to take him back to reality. 

"Hyung, you're dozing off again? What's happening to you? You've been quiet ever since we got down the parking lot." the maknae questioned. 

"I'm okay, just a little tired." Jiyong replied. 

"Ahh, he's already hungry. Please, drive faster but safely, hyung. Our Kwon leader's stomach can't take the hunger anymore." Seungri spoke to their driver.

"He said he's tired not hungry, you idiot." Jiyong heard the lone female voice but the rest of the gang did not seem to hear it.

Jiyong contemplated on opening a conversation with her but lost his chance when the driver announced that they have arrived at their destination. 

_'There's still many chances to talk. The night is still young.' Jiyong thought._

When they got inside the restaurant, the seniors have already ordered. The side dishes were brought out and the grill is already hot waiting for the meat to be cooked. Jiyong sat at the corner where he can easily communicate with Seunghyun who was sitting beside Y/n and he can see the others. Seungri and Y/n helped each other turning the meat and putting it in a plate for their superiors. Since they are the youngest of the bunch, they were obligated to cook for them. 

Every now and then while they were talking and making fun of each other while eating, Y/n takes care of the meat and makes sure the meat never runs out especially for Psy. Jiyong noticed that. Also, the eldest of Bigbang, is very attentive when it comes to Y/n's food while Seungri is chatting with her. Youngbae, who is not one to frequently talk, makes a conversation with her. Daesung is very casual around her and makes jokes whenever it is called. The girl, on the otherhand, speaks when spoken to and most of the time, Jiyong sees her listening to everyone. 

He didn't understand how did his members get close to her and when? Why is he the only one left not talking to her? He was completely clueless on how to face the situation and he didn't like it. He was left out. Even his superiors talks to her and it makes him look bad. 

He continues to eat until he has no meat left. He looked at the table and saw the meat plate in front of Y/n. He decided that it was his chance to talk to her even if he just wants her to grab the plate for him. However, Seunghyun beat him to it.

"Here, looks like you ran out of meat." Seunghyun brought the plate to him. It felt like Seunghyun blew his chance away.

"Oh, thanks hyung." he said. 

For Jiyong, it looks like he has to find another chance to talk to her. That chance didn't come even after they've finished dinner. The only time he had spoken to her was when they had to part ways to go home. Y/n has bid her farewell to all of them and Seunghyun, strangely, volunteered to take her home. A separate car took the two and the rest of the bigbang members had to take the van they took to get to the restaurant. 

"It looks like TOP hyung has gotten close to Y/n even you, Youngbae hyung." Seungri pointed out.

"Ah, it's not that we're not close before, it kind of just happened." Youngbae replied. 

"How about you Daesung?"

"Y/n and I almost take the same lessons in the building so we're like classmates. She's worked in musicals so we had something in common." Daesung replied.

It was quite understandable that Daesung and Y/n become friends. Daesung's idol activities involves a lot of musicals and from what Jiyong hears around the building, Y/n is also in musicals. Chaelin and Bommie noona always invites him to watch one of the musicals but he's got no time due to many projects. Seungri, there's no doubt even if Y/n doesn't like it, she'll eventually converse with this boy. Seungri is the biggest feeler of the group. Sometimes, he's surprised how big his connections are in the industry. Youngbae, he's got to know how they got along. As for his TOP hyung, he figured that his hyung won't tell him directly considering he was being observed by TOP during dinner.

The next day, Bommie and Minzy is at the studio for a recording and dance practice and Jiyong was conveniently hanging out in Teddy's studio. The two girls were talking about her and how they would like to form a trio unit with her and such. In the afternoon, Chaelin and Dara joined him for lunch. They were talking about Y/n again and shoes. He never saw the girl inside the building. Not even a single strand of her hair nor her shadow.

"You know, I never saw you talking to Y/n," Teddy said. They were working on a song on his next album. 

"It's because I never had a chance to talk to her. It was until last night that I had the chance to even interact with her without even muttering a single word. Hyung, Am I the only one who's not talking to her?" I asked.

"Well, Chaelin and the others seems close to her. The superiors are very fond of her. YG himself is very curious on how she behaves with the people around her and anything that involves her. I can see her sometimes sitting and eating with the trainees. As for me, I consider myself curious of her. I guess?" Teddy replied.

"That doesn't help me at all," I whined. I shook my hair and sighed. " So, out of all the YG Family, she's the one whom I never got the chance to be close with. It makes me feel bad." 

Is she purposely hiding from me? No, we're not even close in the first place. Why me? Am I that busy? Is she avoiding me? What does she even think of me? Why am I asking these questions in the first place?

"Y/n looks like she's very hard to approach but she's just like you." Teddy said. 

' _Just like me?'_

"In the Japanese culture, they say you have three faces. First is the face you show to the world, second is the one few people only know and last is the face when you're alone with yourself. In her case, that applies. She's a very guarded person and a shy one at that." 

"Anyway, what about your upcoming album? Have you composed any?" 

Speaking of album, I'm supposed to have one before the Bigbang album. A tour and then preparation the group comeback. I prepared some music composition but I'm still clueless if I'll use it. There's the YG Family concert, fashion week, and brand endorsements. There's so many things to do.

"I got some lyrics but I'm not confident in using it, Hyung." 

"We got to work on your album real fast. The YG Family concert is nearing." Teddy recalled. 

I've been thinking on partnering with Chrome Hearts and Off White for this album especially for the music video. It's not like the album is at zero percent. More or less, the album is at 15 percent but I'm still not satisfied. It feels like the album won't be coming out before YG Family concert if this writer's block goes on. What should I do? What concept should I follow? I don't know. I'm too occupied with the thoughts of the only one not being acquainted to her. I hate having this feeling. 

There was a knock on the door. It revealed the person I am worried about. Unconsciously, I sat up straight from my seat. I coughed a bit when our eyes met but she tear it away from me to Teddy hyung.

"I'll just comeback later." she was about to close the door behind her when Teddy hyung and I tried to stop her. 

"On second thought, I want to know your ideas about something." Teddy hyung said. 

"I-I I don't mind. Besides, I'm just hanging out here. Feel free to get comfortable." I added. 

She nodded and went inside. I gestured the sofa so she can sit and all she did was acknowledge our presence with a bow and a nod.

"Oh, I forgot something. I'll be back in a jiffy." Teddy hyung stood up and hastily went out. It left the two of us in awkward silence. She's sitting in the sofa staring straight at the isolation box. I was facing the electronic keyboards near the isolation box. Only the computer desk is separating us. 

_'Should I talk to her?'_

"Teddy must have planned this beforehand. Don't expect him to comeback any sooner... G-Dragon." Y/n spoke in english. That's a clever way to speak to someone you don't know especially when you're korean. In korean, you speak with honorifics but in english, there's no honorifics used. It saves her the obligation to call Jiyong sunbae and/or oppa. 

"I figured so," Jiyong replied. He just went with the flow. At least, something happened. It's alright to talk in english. For Jiyong, if it meant talking to her then so be it. Somehow, the unknown weight in his shoulders lightened.

"What were you guys, doing before I came here? I'm sorry if I sound like I'm putting my nose on other people's business. I'm just trying to... talk." It may seem like they're professionally conversing but it's going somewhere. 

"Did the upperclassmen talked to you?" he asked. She looked at him briefly then she nodded. Y/n stood up from her seat and moved to the computer desk and brought out a notebook.

"Yeah...We had a talk." She faced the computer and played a song. Jiyong noticed that and smiled inwardly. She's attentive. Y/n clicked the first song familiar to her which is Maroon 5's This love. 

"Nice choice." Jiyong complimented. 

"It's one of my favorites." she replied.

_'I'll remember that'_

When the first line of the song came, she became surprised. 

"What the..." Jiyong covered his face as he laughed. Y/n's reaction was hilarious. Her usually calm and unapproachable facial expression turned into an bewildered one. He knew that his song was the one playing because they kept backup songs in the computer. Y/n looked at him stunned. 

"I thought it was Maroon 5's song. Really? You turned it into korean? I'm gonna have to erase that song in my list. It has scarred my whole existence." Y/n rolled her eyes at him. His laughing continued as he felt his blood rushed to his cheeks.

"Why! you don't like it?" he asked when he calmed down. Normally, he's very welcoming of opinions of his songs. This time, he felt like he's in a hot seat. _He needed to know her opinion._

"It just felt like a stranger. It's not that I don't like it but I'm not just fond of it. I always enjoyed listening to the original that I never thought of listening to another version of it."

"It felt like an intruder." he continued. If he was in her shoes, it was like pulling him out of his safe place then putting him in an unknown place where he doesn't know anything. The feeling is scary and hopeless. 

Their conversation is cut-and-dried. Like ordinary co-workers conversing. Regardless, Jiyong somehow understood the meaning of Y/n's reason of his own version of the song. There is a deeper meaning behind her response and it doesn't have to be voiced out. He didn't want to break the warm fragile illusion that they were in. 

**She nodded.**

  
**He understood.**

  
**And that was enough.**

Jiyong stared at the ceiling. Their conversation halted and all was left is the lingering feeling of being able to understood something that is invisible but you can feel it. It was nice. Jiyong quietly let out a sigh. 

"What are your thoughts about putting a whistle in a song?" 

"Well, it's not brand new." She brought out a notebook and a pencil case as she continued talking,"Correct me if I'm wrong but I've heard songs that has whistle sounds from the year 70's to 90's. Alternative rock and acoustics sometimes uses whistles. The vibe that the listeners will get depends on the whistle. At present time, have you heard I think it's Flo Rida that used whistle in his song? it goes like 'Can you blow my whistle— something like that. I'm not sure if it has been released or not but if it isn't, pretend you didn't hear it from me." She looked at Jiyong as if asking him why. 

"I'm contemplating on using it." He replied, guessing by the look on her eyes.

"Really? Why now?" she asked. She's been looking at her notebook, scribbling something and occasionally looking at her phone whilst talking to him. 

"I want to try using it in my album because in my household, my mother often play songs with whistles in it." His eyes followed her hand as she picked a red pen and as she scribbled some more.

"Then try using more electric guitar and drums like a slow beat or something." She replied while looking on her phone.

"Yeah but I'm not sure if I'll be including it in the album." He nodded at her statement.

"If it's like an indie alternative slow rock or something like that, I have a feeling you'll have to have a female voice." she stopped writing and turned to look at him. Jiyong felt her eyes on him and returned the gesture. Somehow, he was hoping she'd give a hint that she would like to collaborate with him. 

"... really? Do you have someone in mind?" He took a spin on his chair. Jiyong is excited but he won't show. He slide his chair towards where she is seated. 

"Yup. She has a nice voice and personality. I think you've heard her name but I'm not sure." She slide away her notebook from him as she saw his eyes look down on the desk.

"Try me," Jiyong put his weight on both of his arms that were on top of the desk while looking up at Y/n.

Still looking down on her notebook she replied,"Kim Yuna of Jaurim." 

Jiyong is left speechless. He didn't know anyone of that name nor band. His ego was hurt. He embarrassed himself in front of his junior. He made an assumption and it backfired. 

_'When's Teddy hyung coming back? Hurry up!'_

"Give it a thought. The band is amazing. Well, it seems like Teddy is not coming back no matter how long I wait. I'm taking my leave." Y/n sighed and tore the paper out of her notebook. She neatly tucked away her things and said her greetings to Jiyong then she left. 

Jiyong tried to come up with an excuse to make her stay but none came. He just let her greet him and watch her leave the recording room. It was him and his thoughts alone. Jiyong sighed and stared at the seat the girl left. 

He found the blank paper lying on top of the desk.

"So, she's been pretending to write the whole time?" he asked no one but himself. 

He picked the piece of paper and the answer revealed itself in front of him.

⚜

**_Instagram_ **

* * *

⚜

[1] Chaebol  
Korean term for a large conglomerate formed by cross-ownership and often under one family's control; equivalent to Japanese zaibatsu


	2. Lacuna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which jiyong works towards the completion of his album but can't help feeling like something is missing.

* * *

Lacuna  
(n.) a blank space, a missing part.

* * *

⚜

**Jiyong**

  
"What do you think, hyung?" I asked.

I stayed awake all night yesterday writing the song after the talk I had with Y/n. I managed to complete two verses but it's still incomplete. I did all my scheduled work and decided to hangout with Teddy hyung.

The senior read each line carefully and then he looked back at Jiyong then back to the paper. His serious looking face mirrored Jiyong's. Deep inside, Jiyong wanted the song to make it to the album's song line up. Y/n sparked a light in his inspiration and he didn't want the song to go to waste.

"What's the title?" his senior asked. Jiyong shrugged. He didn't know, he just wrote it as it is and stopped when he ran out of idea and words.

"It's not finished. The chorus and bridge is still missing. Also, I want to use the whistle in it. I want this song to feel easy as if you're listening to warm feel pop songs in the old days." he explained. Jiyong pushed some buttons from the controller and a carefree whistle came from the speakers.

"I need to use this whistle. It's mine. I'm not changing it." he declared. He stayed inside the studio when Y/n left. He went and found some files inside the computer labelled 'Unused' and found a whistle sound. Jiyong immediately liked the smooth sound of the whistle. He instantly thought that that whistle is good for the melody inside his head. His alter ego named G-Dragon is working at that time and he needs to have it. He's got to have it. Whatever G-Dragon wants, G-Dragon gets.

"Well, we might just have a small problem if you're going to use that." Teddy said.

"Why?" It's on the 'Unused' folder. That meant nobody's using it. Now, he's going to use it. What's the matter? He needed it. G-Dragon won't take no for an answer.

"We need to contact the owner of that sound and ask for permission. Your maknae, Seungri, before you went here yesterday, he dropped by and made me listen to it. I think he's planning to use that too. He transferred that file in that folder. I don't know if he's the owner of it or not but he seems like he's boasting it."

"I'll talk to him."

"Yeah and Jiyong--" Teddy was cut off when his lowerclassman turned his back on him and reached for his phone. The producer thought that the man in front of him is not Jiyong but G-Dragon. From then, he decided to keep quiet and watch the scene unfold.

"Seungri-yah, Where are you?"

"I'm at Teddy hyung's studio, we need to talk. You know that whistle sound you transferred to the computer? I'd like to use it." G-Dragon hummed when the other line was talking then he said his goodbye and the phone call ended.

⚜

  
Seungri is in trouble. The file wasn't his and the owner might skin him alive when they find out it's going to be used by another artist without their permission. He knew he was talking to G-Dragon when he greeted him cheerfully but he was replied with a serious tone. He's going to be dead meat and it didn't matter who's gonna kill him. He's got to think. fast.

"Hello? How are you?! What are you doing right now?" he gleefully greeted the other line. Cold sweat ran down his back and he's praying to all of the gods he knows that the owner is in a good mood when he explains his actions.

"I'm busy right now. I'm memorizing so many things and you're a disturbance, Lee Seunghyun." the other line displeasingly said. He laughed nervously. They only call him by his full name when they're annoyed or if they meant serious business.

"You know that file you asked me to transfer to Teddy hyung's computer?" he started.

"What? What happened?' the other line replied dangerously calm.

"It looks like, I might have put it in the wrong folder and somebody has listened to it and now, wants to use it?" the other line took a few minutes before replying. Seungri's heart is pounding so hard inside his chest. He doesn't want to upset them because that meant chaos.

"You had one job." the other line sighed and ended the call.

"I am so dead." he said out loud.

Meanwhile, Jiyong is biting his nails while pondering what he should do if the owner disagrees to let him use the sound. It's perfect and he didn't want any other whistle sound to use for the song. The person he's waiting for finally arrived, his face, pale. Jiyong knew that the owner may or may not let him use it.

"Hyung, I tried talking to the owner but the phone call ended." His maknae scratched the back of his neck.

"Can I talk to the owner personally? Give me the number." Seungri hesitantly gave the number to his hyung.

Inside Jiyong's mind, he's preparing himself all the persuasive words to convince the owner to lend him the file. He's got to have it. He will. The phone call is still ringing after what seems to be 20 seconds but no one is picking up. He dropped the call and clicked his tongue.

'Why isn't he answering? Does he really don't want to lend me the file?' Jiyong thought. He tapped the number again and decided to call.

"Hello? Who's this?" a male voice answered like he just woke up.

"I'm sorry to wake you up. My name is G-Dragon of YG entertainment. I was wondering if you could lend me your work, the whistle sound that you gave to Seungri to transfer in the computer?" Jiyong unconsciously bit the flesh on his right index finger for a second and stopped when he caught himself.

"Yeah. About that, I think I'm not in the right position to discuss business at 4 a.m. I just finished my work and if you could wait around 9 a.m. Korea time this week, I'll get back to you. I apologise for this phone call conversation but I assure I'll get back to you."

"I understand. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. Seungri here, didn't tell anyone that you're working overseas. I'm really sorry. Okay, this week around 9 a.m. korean time, sir." the other line agreed and the call ended. Seungri's hyung and leader turned and sent a glare on his way.

"Well, you didn't ask if the owner is out of the country. You just asked for the number." the maknae shrugged.

"Sometimes, you're an idiot." Teddy laughed.

In the meantime, Jiyong decided to compose the other songs in his album. Hopefully, the owner agrees to lend him the sound. The next few days, he spent holed up the music room composing incomplete songs, asking Teddy ideas and suggestions, and on his free time, he wonders where and when will he see his lowerclasswoman again. Friday came, still no response from the owner which made him upset. His album is nowhere near complete.

"If he's not going to permit me, then he should say right away." He's getting impatient. YG is asking for the progress of his album. He needs to get the work done.

"I'm sure he'll contact you within the day." Teddy replied hunched on the computer desk while arranging the melody. Jiyong seems adamant in using that sound. If this goes on, the album might have to be postponed...again.

Jiyong's foul mood affected his members and the people around him.He's grumpy, unapproachable and stubborn. His manager is having a hard time in talking to him. Youngbae remained quiet about the situation even though a lot of people inside the building was asking. He knows not to speak during these times. He also noticed that Seungri, who's always lively is unusually quiet. From then and there, Youngbae knew he's the main reason why his bestfriend is cranky.

"How many times do I have to repeat myself, maknae? I said, accentuate the last syllable of the word and leave a breathing space to make it sound not awkward. You keep on making the same mistakes for the twentieth time now. Lee Seunghyun." Jiyong's tone of voice is dispassionate. The maknae apologizes and bowed his head.

"Hey, go easy on him. Don't take your anger on him, Jiyong." the eldest of Bigbang said.

"I'm sorry." The Kwon leader sighed. Seungri understands, he just didn't know how to explain to his hyung the situation without giving out the identity of the owner.

Teddy came to the studio. He was in a good mood but it turned awkward when he saw Jiyong all grumpy and grumbling. He tried to lighten the mood by making fun of him and teasing him and making jokes with the eldest Seunghyun and Youngbae. Somehow, it made the atmosphere less tense but the bad mood Jiyong is giving rubs off of it.

"You're being impatient right now. He'll contact you, just wait." Teddy said.

"He told me this week. Three freaking days have passed and still no calls from him. I'm not in the mood to play games with anyone. This is bad luck." Jiyong complained.

Normally, he doesn't have any problems with waiting for go signals but Jiyong talked to YG and the president would not postpone the album. He stepped on a dog poo this morning, his coffee tasted nothing like the usual coffee he drinks and he woke up late. Everything is not going right.

"Excuse me? Teddy oppa?" Jiyong knew that voice well. He turned to the owner of the voice and the dread he was feeling suddenly dissipated.

"Oh hey, come in!" Teddy smiled and beckoned her to go inside. Y/n greeted with a bow. Seungri came out of the isolation booth with a relieved look pasted on his face. Her seniors returned the greeting.

"Y/n!! What brings you here? Are we collaborating with her?" Seungri excitedly asked.

"No, I'm here for something." Y/n replied then she went straight to the computer. They were all looking at her every move. Seungri, still talkative, tries to talk to her and she gives him short responses. The whistle sound blasted from the speakers that made the maknae quiet.

"So, you're the one who's going to use it?" Jiyong's eyes widened. Their eyes focused on their leader.

"Yeah, I'm going to use it." she replied.

"Oh..." Jiyong and Teddy locked eyes for a moment. Teddy crossed his arms and leaned on the desk as he shook his head.

"You see Y/n, your sunbae here, has taken a liking to yo--" Jiyong looked at his hyung with wide eyes. His heartbeating faster than it ever was. Teddy flashed him a teasing look. Jiyong looked back and forth from his hyung and to Y/n who is focused on the computer screen. "Your sound. I mean, to that sound you're planning to use and he's been trying to get a word from the creator who hasn't been contacting him for days. He didn't know that you'll be using it." Teddy explained. His hyung spinned his chair to his members who were snickering except for the two Seunghyun. The oldest looked stoic and the youngest looked like he couldn't believe what he heard.

"Is that so?" she asked, unbothered. Still looking in front of the computer. The truth is she found out about it from Seungri but she was upset with him at that time so she decided to put off discussing about it and asked her brother to redirect her number to his and answer any calls pertaining to it.

"Yeah, but if you're the first to hear it then you can have it." Jiyong hastily replied.

"Are you sure sunbae?" This time, she turned to face him and look at him straight in the eye. He tried to read her eyes but he couldn't see anything. Not even an ounce of interest in the person her eyes are reflecting. If he could just see even a glint of something in her eyes then maybe he could have a clue on how to interact better with her. And maybe he could get his way into acquiring that whistle sound from you. However, he figured he couldn't get anything from your eyes and pretending to be humble right now wouldn't work.

"No. I really really want it." he honestly said. Jiyong really wants it for the song. He hopes Y/n would change her mind. He pulled a sad pleading look that never fails to work.

A small smile graced her face then it turned into a sly smirk then she said, "Too bad you can't have it sunbae." the others laughed at his failed attempt.

"Ah, Won't you do me a favor? for your sunbae?" He pleaded.

"Hm? I don't do favors." she tilted her head slightly to the right to address him. It was clear in her eyes she won't back down and neither will Jiyong.

"Then this will be the first time. I promise, I'll return the favor." she raised a brow at him.

_'Who do you think you are? You're not even close to her.' Jiyong thought._

"She doesn't make promises and she doesn't accept promises. Jiyong," Seunghyun said. Y/n turned to him.

"I thought you weren't here." she said.

"If I'm not here, would you pull something funny?" Seunghyun asked.

"You know me too well." she laughed a little and winked at Seunghyun. Jiyong and the others noticed the different atmosphere going between the two and they don't seem to hide it.

"Go ahead." Seunghyun said.

"And what will I get in return? This isn't some cheap thing you know? I had it made because I have an idea where to use it." she reasoned.

"Jiyong.." Seunghyun called. Jiyong knew what is going on. His hyung has given him an opportunity and he noted in his mind to thank his hyung later.

"It's gonna be a collaboration. Your name will be on the list of producers." Jiyong replied.

"Hmm..."

"If you're worried about your name and issues, don't worry." Jiyong said.

"Okay. You can have it. I'll call him." she stood up and went out.

When the lady excused herself, the boys all went silent. Jiyong's bad mood is lifted, Seungri is curious, Youngbae is finally relaxed, Daesung is clueless and Teddy knows something. It was only when Seungri finally talked that the silence was broken.

"Hyung, this is the second time I saw you comfortable when talking to Y/n." Seungri faced the oldest Seunghyun.

"Really?" Seunghyun played nonchalant.

"This is the first time I saw you really relaxed in front of a girl. You're often quiet and play around with the others sometimes but there's something in the way you treat her and she treats you. Hyung, do you like Y/n?" Seungri straight forwardly asked.

"Lee Seunghyun." Y/n called. She sounded annoyed yet calm.

"...Yes?"

"Come here. Let's talk." Uh oh.

When Seungri left, the room fell silent again. "So... Do you like her hyung?" He asked, just curious. Seunghyun is a mysterious man even if they mess around each other. There's still many things that he doesn't know about him.

"Don't think too much. Seungri's just messing with me." Seunghyun chuckled.

_'He didn't answer the question.'_ Jiyong thought.

Soon, Bigbang went to work and recorded the whole day. Y/n didn't return after the talk with Seungri. Jiyong still revisits Seunghyun's answer the whole time. Seungri seemed to forgot his question and just focused on the work. When Jiyong and Teddy were the ones left in the room, it was already around 9 p.m.

"Ah. This is difficult. I can't think." Jiyong huffed. He finally got the go signal for the music but it's still incomplete.

He managed to complete some of the songs and there are only two songs left which includes the song he oh so wanted to put into the album. Somehow, his feelings cannot be conveyed into the words he has right now. It left him feeling kind of hollow. Like there is a void that needs to be filled and he doesn't know how to fill it. The words inside his head doesn't fit in the song but it's on the tip of his tongue and he still can't get it.

"Y/n's coming over." Teddy informed him. For an unknown reason, the whistle sound started ringing inside his head silently that he just ignored it. When she came in, the sound clouded his mind, the volume increased and it was blasting full on inside his head. Yet he still can't pen down a single word to complete his song.

"Good evening," her voice resonated inside the room. The sound died down in his head like shushing the rambunctious crowd inside a concert hall.

"Oh, you guys are still working? I thought you finished by now. Am I a disturbance? Sunbae?"

' _No. On a side thought, you magically silenced the noise inside my head and I have to thank you for that.' is_ what Jiyong wanted to say but he just shook his head. He took the produced sound that was meant for her and he didn't want to come off as a problematic upperclassman in front of her.

"Actually we're down to the last two songs of his album." Teddy interjected with a somewhat relieved tone in his voice.

"Oh really? I think that's good to hear." _I think that's too early for that. As long as I'm not finished with these two, the album is not coming out._

"But he's having a hard time on the last two songs." the man added.

"Writer's block?" she asked. Jiyong just gave up and showed them what he has done yet. Teddy picked up the paper and studied it.

"What else do you want to convey, Jiyong?"

What does he want to say? That he misses the person. That his whole world stood still at that moment they walked out of his life. That he felt so lonely and nobody is there for him. That he messed up and he couldn't tell a single soul that would understand him. That maybe he, he is missing that person.

"Wow, I never knew you're such a jerk. Gd sunbae." It was a critical hit to Jiyong's heart.

She read,"We had unresolved misunderstandings and scars remained, though I should've contained myself better and not said, 'let's break up'" [1] Jiyong smiled at her sheepishly.

She looked at me then to the paper for a couple of seconds. With her steely gaze going back and forth, scrutinizing my work, I feel like I'm a school boy about to get scolded by a strict teacher. As I wait for the verdict, she placed down the paper."Well, it seems the person in this song is feeling regretful of his actions. I feel like if you write down how he really feels in this chorus..." she points down to the empty space on the paper. "...cements it because you've already penned the reminders of their relationship in the first and second verse. After that, you can explain how you might want to take back all of the bad things that has happened and ask the person to take you back, that you want that person back because you miss them terribly." the two men nodded.

"Since the character in this song is a lonely guy," Jiyong felt a jab on his emotions. He can't be upset about it because it's true. _The man in this song is a terrible person._ "A _messed up one_ at that," he sees her right eyebrow raising as she crosses her arms in front.

"Maybe you can repeat some words to accentuate the need and feel of the character. It might help if you use _'maybe I'm missing you'_ in the chorus and all throughout so there's a depth in his character. A lonely guy with a lot of pride. Someone who can't be honest in his feelings to the point of destroying something he keeps precious in his heart." Jiyong looked with an appreciative smile. She's still looking at the paper and explaining things while he's still grinning at her like an idiot. Teddy is snickering at the sight of the two.

"Sunbae, if you have the nerve to daydream there like a fourth grader, it's best that you work on this song now. Am I right Teddy oppa?" she asked assertively. Teddy coughed and cleared his throat then he agreed with what she said.

Y/n, noticing that the upperclassman who's having trouble with lyric writing is still not paying attention, she looked up at him under her eyelashes. His elbows and hands are on top of the desk while his head is settled on his hands, his eyes almost closed because of his gummy smile.

"If you keep smiling like that you'll look like Joker in no time. I wonder if you can see us while smiling like that. Sunbae, focus." she said in a direct tone.

_'Is he mocking me?' the girl thought to herself._

  
She put down the pencil and looked at him eye to eye. She snapped her fingers in front of his face to earn a reaction from him. When he did, he straightened himself from his seat. She pulled him forward by the sleeve of his jacket and pointed her index finger to the paper in front of them. Jiyong surprised by the action, let himself get pulled by the girl and looked at the thing she's pointing.

"Right! I'll take it from here." he cleared his throat and slightly cursed himself from doing that. Why was he so happy? She might think I'm crazy.

Just when he's going to take the paper, her hand prevented him from getting it. He looked at her clueless.

"No offense but when you're grinning like crazy awhile ago, were you playing?" she asked.

He laughs loudly and awkwardly while purposively averting his eyes from her and says, "I thought I might joke around with you because you look so serious but thank you for helping me. I mean Teddy hyung and me." A cold sweat ran down Jiyong's back. Teddy is looking at him with raised eyebrow and a teasing smirk.

Her head tilted a little bit on the left, her hair slowly and somewhat messily follows her head's action as she spoke, "If you say so. You should try working on the song now."

Jiyong returned to song writing while Y/n and Teddy is conversing. Surprisingly, thoughts and words flowed to him automatically. Remembering his female junior's suggestions, he is able to write down exactly what he wants to write.

"So, I'm curious about you and Choi Seunghyun, Y/n." Jiyong stopped writing. His back is facing the two.

"What about me and Seunghyun... _sunbae_?" there was a pause on her statement like she was about to mutter another word that is far from the word 'sunbae'.

"You guys seem to get along." Teddy nonchalantly said.

"Yeah. I guess. We get along just fine." she explained. The tone on her voice sounded like there is no room for other suggestion and no further explanation.

"YG told me you guys went to a restaurant a few days ago then you left with Seunghyun." Jiyong never knew YG told another person about that.

"It's because we live in the same neighborhood." she replied, as a matter of fact.

"Oh and Seunghyun seems to be fond of you." The treatment she got from Jiyong's hyung showed that she's not treated by Seunghyun just like their other colleague.

"Hmm...? What are you implying?" she said, docile.

"Nothing, it's just brand new. I'm curious." Teddy chuckled.

"Hmm. I guess it's fine if I put it this way, I leave everything in your imagination. Teddy oppa." she evasively said.

A phone suddenly started ringing.

"And here we're just having a conversation about him then his name and number suddenly popped out of your phone screen. You have a call, Y/n." Teddy pointed out. Humorously mocking Y/n.

"Y/n." Seunghyun's voice can be heard from the room.

"Hmm?"

"Where are you? I just finished the shooting. Are you still inside the building?" Jiyong's hyung's deep baritone voice sounded concerned through the phone call.

"I'm still inside the building. I'm with Teddy oppa and GD sunbae. Say hi!" her voice sounded relaxed and chatty than the tone she used while talking about her relationship with him with Teddy.

  
"...Omona! Annyeonghaseyo Teddy oppa! Gd oppa saranghaeyo!!~ Dangshin-eul geu eotteon geot bodado deo saranghaeyo~!"[2] Seunghyun said in a lovey dovey voice.

It made Jiyong sink from his seat and cringe harder than he could while giggling. Teddy guffawed and laughed while slapping his knee. Seunghyun knew how to make them feel so embarassed. Jiyong could feel his ears going warm and turning red from his older member's silly action. He could imagine Seunghyun's scrunchy face and pouty lips acting all cutesy making heart signs and kissy faces. The Kwon leader turned to his seat to look at the girl in room. Half of her face turning down and the other delicately shown with a light smile gracing her features. Her eyes sparkled for a moment when she noticed that Jiyong is looking at her the glimmer disappeared but the glow in her face didn't fade.

"I'll come pick you up. Stay there. We're on our way, okay?" Seunghyun's voice is so gentle that it made Teddy stop laughing.

  
"Okay. Be safe." her voice is as gentle as his hyung's, a pleasant sounding hum in the two gentlemen's ears.  
  


**_'Just who are you in Choi Seunghyun's life?'_ **   
  
  


* * *

⚜

[1] They're working on OOAK album's Missing You track. I used the english translation of the lyrics.

[2] _I love you more than anything._


	3. Hardwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fiery Dragon meets the Ice Witch.

* * *

"Something that you possess, you've never wanted" 

* * *

⚜

**Jiyong**

She's back. That's what I heard, I rode the elevator with two trainees chatting with each other. When they saw me they bowed and I returned the gesture. I thought they would be quiet until they reached their floor but they seem to be excited on something... someone. 

"Noona just arrived last week from her work overseas. Hyunjoong texted me, he said he saw noona walk out the music room later that night." the boy said, a bit chirpy. 

"Oh! I wonder if she's dropping a new album this year? If so, let's support her!" the other boy said, determined.

"Let's go eat at the cafeteria later, maybe we'll see her there!" the two guys agreed. The elevator stopped and opened revealing Y/n. The two guys immediately greeted her and went out of the elevator all flustered and nudging each other. She saw me and greeted me with a bow. I nodded and waved at her.

"Going to the recording room?" I asked her. The elevator started moving again.The two of us are on both sides of the elevator leaning on the metal wall. 

She didn't reply. _Did I came off as rude?_ I faced her and noticed she has her earphones on. _She's listening to music. I thought she's ignoring me._

The elevator opened and we both moved from the walls. _So, she's going to Teddy hyung too._ I stepped backward and let her exit first. She nodded and went out. We walked towards the recording room with her walking in front of me and I, walking a few steps behind. I jogged towards her when she's near the door so I could open it for her. 

"Thank you. I thought you'd be on the other floor," She smiled a little while removing her earphones. 

I gave a shy smile. a ticklish feeling erupted from my stomach. She entered the room and I followed. 

"Ah! You guys went here together!!" Teddy comically said. 

"Good morning, I guess?" Y/n greeted. 

On the left side of the room sat two men, one elegantly crossed legged and the other one casually sitting on the sofa. _Seunghyun hyung and the others are present. I thought I'd be working with Youngbae today_? Hyung must have seen my confusion and spoke. 

"I had a free time today so I decided to hang out with Teddy hyung. Also, I found out just now that you'd be working with Youngbae then I bumped into Seungri and Daesung on the way." he said.

"We're hanging out here today, whether you like it or not." Seungri declared.

"And here I thought I am the most disrespectful hoobae in YG then you come stealing it from me? Go figure a role of your own. Get out of my throne." she shooed Seungri from the swivel chair in front of the desktop computer. 

"Nobody is permitting you not to stay but you guys already know that we'll be working on a song. If you guys are hanging out here then be sure to give ideas. It'll be a great help." she continued. Y/n brought out a notebook, a different one from before, Jiyong noticed and Youngbae sat on the opposite side of the table and waited. 

"I thought about the concept last night and I figured if it's something like a piano ballad with less ornament it would be more pop rnb for your voice. You said something like a break up song and some melody popped from my head and I had to write it down," She flips through the pages of her notebook then slides it towards him. "Please take a look. It's not finished yet and you can take it and put your touch in it or let's create something new. Either way, it's your song and your decision now." she pulled out two hand written music sheets and Teddy and Youngbae grabbed a sheet separately. After sometime, the two exchanged papers and examined it.

"This is good!! Let's work on this." Teddy exclaimed. 

"Jiyong, come take a look at this." I took the paper from him. One look at it and the melody started flowing in my head. A piano solo weeping from a lost love.

I turned to Youngbae who seemed down in the dumps with a worried face and to Y/n who is scrolling through her phone nonchalantly. If these two work together they could make the whole South Korea cry from this music. I wonder why they wanted to do a break up song all of a sudden. Youngbae and I worked on a dope song from a while back as his single and now he's working on a sad song. I can't disagree with that though, I go from 0-100 in my songs too.

We continued discussing with the two songs for a while. Inserting ideas here and there from us three and the others. Y/n took down notes from every ideas and Teddy decided to take a break.

"Youngbae oppa, Can you hold my phone for a sec? I'm trying to send a message just hold it up not too far and not to near like on an eye level maybe? I'm just gonna go to the rest room. I'll be back." She gave her phone to him and Youngbae reluctantly followed her orders.

"Hello?" a female voice came out of Y/n's phone. The Bigbang members turned to look at Youngbae who, the same as them looked surprised. Bigbang's sun cleared his throat and greeted the stranger awkwardly.

"Hyorin-ah," Youngbae said, bleakly. He stood up from his seat and left the room.

"Who's that?" Seungri asked. I just shrugged. Y/n came into the room and went straight to her seat then started scribbling on her notebook. _It's like she's ignoring the fact that Youngbae isn't here and he's with her phone talking to someone...or does she know?_

"Let's get back to work!" Teddy said with a booming voice when he entered the room along with a slightly energized Youngbae. We followed him with a gaze until he gave back Y/n's phone. 

We continued working until Y/n had to leave for another schedule. Majority of the music is Y/n and Youngbae's idea. He even gave her the rights to put the title of the song. **Eyes, Nose, Lips** [1] is her suggested title. We're currently working on the lyrics of the song and Youngbae is really focused on it. As much as I want to ask him who the stranger on the phone was, I decided not to pry. I want him to tell me because he wants to tell me. He did that to me all the time and I want to give him his privacy. 

"Hyorin." He started. The rest of us remained silent until he continues.

"Min Hyorin. The woman on the phone. The first time we met was at my song, 1AM music video. We got along and after sometime, we started dating. I'm sorry if I kept it a secret from you guys. We had a fight last week and just a while ago, we decided to talk. Thanks to Y/n." he explained. 

"Aish!! I thought you were getting into something like a scandal!!! You had me worried there!" I lightly smacked his shoulder as I complained. _Of course, he's not the type to be involved into that but who knows?_

"Don't sweat it. Y/n has a way with words. I'm sure she talked Hyorin into talking to you. I figured she's doing something from the moment she handed her phone to you." Seunghyun hyung interjected.

"She hates people touching her things without her permission and never let people use her things especially her phone. She's so pissed off at me one time I used it." Seungri agreed. 

"Maybe because you used the front camera to take selcas like the one time you used mine and took 1000 photos that I had to delete all of them." Daesung retorted. 

"Well, it might be because she didn't want your relationship to end just like that. More or less, she must have heard from Hyorin about your fight and wanted to do something." Teddy hyung complimented.

⚜

Several days passed, the music is finally completed and it's time for the recording. So far, we've done the intro for the album and Youngbae is working hard to be hands on for the album. 

"Bad news." Youngbae said as soon as I walked in. 

"What is it?" I asked, alarmed. 

"The graphic design team dropped by awhile ago and the first design coincidentally looks like a cd album from another artist. We haven't heard from the band for the sample music that we'll use for the intro." _What should we do?_

"What is it that I heard from a reliable source that there's problems regarding what design and who?" Y/n who just came bursting from the door asked. 

"The design is just like an artist's album and the sample music hasn't been approved." I summarized Youngbae's statement. 

Y/n sat on her "throne" and clicked her tongue. She hummed and rested on the chair and turned in circles from her seat. I contacted the one in charge of the situation and verified the news. Turns out that there are some kind of resemblance and they wouldn't take risk of plagiarism on this. _This is bad._ A phone suddenly rang across the room.

"This is Y/n speaking." she answered the phone call in perfect _(your country/location)_ accent. _I thought french is the sexiest accent but I was wrong._ There's no hint of korean accent from her just fluent english.

"Yes, thank you very much. It's such an honor for us. I hope you visit Seoul soon. I'd be much obliged to give you a tour." she said, politely. She giggled in a hushed tone. _My god, is this the same person? How can she sound like another person?_ She said her thanks and ended the call. 

"It's done. They told me they'll allow us to use it. Just make sure not to forget to cite them okay? I figured that it would take sometime to convince them to let us use it so I hope you don't mind I took the matter into my hands. All we need to think about right now is the album content." she said in a business like manner. There it is again, her serious unreadable aura and expression. One minute she looks like a girl then she turns into a woman.

"You work efficiently and prepared. That's Lee Y/n for you." Teddy boasted. 

"I like to know things are going progressively as I want them to be and if it doesn't, I find a way. There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have." she replied. 

"Going back, I read the lyrics for the Eyes, Nose, Lips. I suggest that we should add bass at the second verse until the end then leave the first verse and the first chorus into a piano solo. So there's that build up and gently settle the song at the end. If you know what I mean? Let's start recording." she said.

⚜

"Oppa, you're flat on this line try and do it comfortably." 

"How about reducing this and that so that it highlights YB oppa's voice in this line?" 

"it's like— prolong it then add a curl at the middle. Don't look at me like that, you know what I mean. Do you want me to tell Hyorin you're mistreating me?" 

"Let's repeat this line again." 

"Sir, please repeat this part again." 

"We're not leaving this room until we get an almost perfect record of this. I'm telling you now." 

"I'm not complaining, Y/n." 

"I know, I'm just talking to myself. I'm starting to get bored and I feel like leaving any second but I'm still working or else I'll get scolded." 

"You're too hard on yourself." 

"Just tell me when to stop. If you think I'm being difficult, I'll make you repeat everything all over again." 

"... You're joking, right?" 

"Of course...not."

"You're worse than Jiyong!" 

"Yah! I'm right here you know?"

"I am honored. Now, on to this line then to the last give your best!" 

I must admit, her work ethics are superb. Absolute perfection from start to finish. She's very detail oriented but she still listens to everyone's ideas. Even the small scratches from Youngbae's voice and the mishaps on the music gets noticed by her. Although she's very critical of herself. Observing her doing her work ignites my curiosity.

Her usually stoic face softens at the first note of the song up until it ends. The lyrics reaches the heart of the listener if the singer delivers it properly. She makes sure to constructively criticize each incorrect notes. It's such a privilege to be in the same room as the enigmatic musician such as her. I'm looking forward to hearing the final output of this collaboration. 

"Thank you for the hardwork!" she bowed and left the room. 

"Three words. Amazing. Meticulous. Effort." I tapped my fingers randomly on the desk. 

"No wonder YG keeps an eye on her." Youngbae replied. 

He and I went down to the cafeteria and into one of the dance rooms. It's one of our habits staying in one of the rooms and then just stay there silent for awhile and then talk about things. During our trainee days, we often clean the rooms for the seniors and watch them. After their practice, we clean the room again. From wiping the mirrors, cabinets down to the floor, trainees did all that. Looking back, I never thought that being in a five man group would succeed. I was against that in the beginning but now, We've come so far. I thought Youngbae and I would be a duo but now, I could never imagine being with different group members except for them. It's fun doing a solo tour but it's still different when they're around. [2] 

Scanning the room, I wondered. Did she do chores like we did? Did she get along with the other trainees whom she trained with? Was she also given an allowance like us? Why didn't YG put her in a group? Maybe because of what I saw and experienced from a while ago. It's because she can stand on her own. 

"You have a lot of thoughts in your head right now." 

"Maybe I'm thinking too much." I replied. 

"About what happened awhile ago?" 

"Yeah. She's a prodigy. A natural born artist. She's a genius. Nothing like us who got where we are by effort. She can enter the mainstream anytime she wants. She can wipeout the entire korean pop and bring it to the whole world. In just what? a three? four? minute song? she can do that." I unconsciously scratched at the floor. "I was so amazed, I wanted her to make a mistake for once. I don't know if she knows how much power she has but maybe I'm overwhelmed by her. Maybe I envy her for what she has that I do not have. If maybe, I am the same as her, maybe we didn't have to wait for how many years to debut. Maybe we didn't have to work hard enough to get degraded by two faced people and then praised by them again and again." Irritation pricked at Jiyong. 

Even though the group is standing tall at the top, he couldn't help but feel upset and wanting to be a better member and a leader for them. For all the harsh criticisms that they got right after they debuted, for the unnecessary picking of people from the way they look, dress and act, he knew they've come a long way. Despite all of that, if Jiyong could have had a way to improve himself and themselves from that starting point then maybe...they wouldn't have gone through so much hardships in the past. 

"If you think like that then you're nothing but a waste. Trash. You are an actual trash. Go away." Y/n callously said. She was standing by the door opening it midway with a notebook on her hand and her bag on her right shoulder. Her eyes looked straightly into mine, burning my eyes with that cold stare. 

"And to think people look up to you," the temperature quickly dropped as soon as she entered the room. "Yet, they don't know that their idol has been thinking like that? Those people you oh so despise faking their expressions in front of you, you're the same as them. You don't get a say about how easy I got here because you don't know anything about me. I can't believe I heard all of this from a well respected person in this industry."

"Y/n..." Youngbae deadpanned. He is trying to hold her back while I processed her words. 

"Just because I have the talent doesn't mean I can get to wherever I want and whatever I want. Talent is nothing if I don't hone it," Y/n kept her voice controlled and monotoned but anger stirred within her.

"We started from scratch just like anyone who wants to learn, it's just that we can pickup and understand the things better and faster than the others. The one thing that we what you call "prodigy" is jealous of with you "hard working" people" she gestured her index and middle fingers in a quote in the air. 

"Is that there's a fulfilling feeling from the hard work you guys achieved. It's like telling you to climb a mountain and when you get to the summit, you feel like you're on top of the world." There was an icy look on her eyes enough to make me feel like I'm experiencing a frostnip. It's a prickling sensation. 

"Do not compare yourself to others because you don't know what they have gone through before they get to where they are. I think you of all people would know that. Just because it's not the same as theirs, they think it's unfair. It's like saying five plus two is equal to seven while six plus one is not equal to seven when in fact they are both right. If you're like that, quit. The world is already a terrible place, it don't need someone as half hearted as you are." With that she walked out and the room is quiet again. 

I exhaled the breath I never thought I was holding back. Youngbae's mouth is hanging open as I continue to stare at the door where she left. It was a slap in the face to get scolded by a person younger than you. I hung my head in shame. I deserved that and I thought that it was so unfair not thinking that they also have their own circumstances. 

* * *

⚜

[1] **Eyes, Nose, Lips (눈, 코, 입; Nun Ko, Ip)** By Taeyang

[2] It was mentioned by G-Dragon on a past interview or show about how BIGBANG members were when they were trainees. From there, he shared some stories about their daily lives were like until they were all living in a dorm. 

*I forgot the name of the show but it can be easily looked up from youtube.


	4. What I saw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things doesn't go as planned...

**Jiyong**

The YG Family concert is nearing. All of us are gathered in the conference room, Jinusean, Epik High, Bigbang and 2ne1 but no Y/n. The atmosphere inside the room is quiet and a few mumbles here and there can be heard but other than that it's quiet. Nobody mentioned the scene that happened in the music room between Y/n, Me and Youngbae. I thought he would tell it to the other members or maybe Y/n would confide with the seniors and the girls. We are all waiting for YG to arrive when Y/n came. She's wearing an oversized sweater almost drowning her figure, black jeans and sneakers. She greeted everyone and went to a vacant seat beside Seungri, two seats in front of Seunghyun hyung and across from mine. She sat down and sunk on her chair then she rested her head on the table.

"Tough day?" Tablo hyung asked. Y/n groaned in response. Seungri chuckled and pat her head. 

"I just came back from somewhere that has a great time difference in South Korea. My jet lag is killing me then I found out that there's a meeting today. I wanted to kill my manager inside the airplane and flush his dead body in the toilet down to a land in a foreign country." she bleakly said. 

"Ah the lengths I would go for YG. I love YG." she said with a hint of sarcasm and the others laughed at this.

The conversation immediately started flowing after her sarcastic remark. Psy hyung started joking and she responds with sarcasm that made the others laugh. Bom noona would whine to Y/n and she flatly teases her. Daesung would make puns and she will retort. Basically, the whole room became lively when she came. Although, she remains calm and looked uninterested with her head resting on the table, making remarks here and there, she made the room not so awkward. Everyone is laughing and snickering by the time YG arrived.

The room finally went quiet when he came into the room. The schedule was announced, ideas were given and we talked about the concert stage. The rest of the time passed quickly. I'll make sure to properly apologize for my mistake after the meeting. She doesn't even look at me whenever I want to lock eyes. I feel like I'm really hated by her because she talks to everyone in the room but me. 

"Take a picture it'll last, Jiyong." YG spoke. My head turned to him, surprised. The others chuckled. I hung my head down and just smiled. Suddenly, swaying my thighs left and right and fiddling my hands looks more interesting than looking in front. I could feel the blood rushing to my ears as they laugh. I slightly peeked a glance at Y/n to check but she's still remained unmoved. 

"Aish! There's your phone in front of you, ask Seungri to take the picture!" Psy hyung pointed at my phone on top of the table. I laughed silently while looking down. I don't even know what they're talking about. I bit my lower lips to prevent myself in grinning too much. Everyone started teasing me while laughing except Seunghyun hyung, Seungri and Y/n. 

The girl lifted her head and sat properly with crossed legs underneath the table. Despite of the throbbing headache she's experiencing, she confidently held her head up high. Her elbows are resting on the arm chairs, hands together on her stomach. Her eyes remained unreadable and cold as she said with a calm voice, "I don't mean to be rude but, can we proceed to the next topic, now? If everything has been discussed, may I take my leave?" 

The room went quiet and serious as fast as she made the whole room loud and jolly. Everyone turned into serious business mode when she spoke. YG inwardly laughed at everyone in the room. The seniors realizing they're not acting their age by a junior's indirect statement. It's one of the reason why he is looking over Y/n because at one minute she can build something from nothing and the other minute she can easily destroy it with a touch.

Ever since she debuted and participated the YG Family concert, the meetings would be full of ideas, everyone is very open and fooling around at the same time she regulates the rowdiness of the room with one reply. The way this girl carries herself in front of anyone, cold and mysterious, elegant and sophisticated. She can go with the flow for a certain time but wouldn't take no bullshit and removes herself from the crap as soon as she can see something wrong. One minute, she jokes around people then another she goes quiet and promptly declines any entertainment.

She's an undiscovered leader in her own rights. The way she looks over people and guide them unconsciously whenever they're lost. Always working in the dark for them. YG somewhat sees himself in her but he admits that even though he's the CEO, she makes the best decisions and suggestions for the company. He anticipates her insights on things because he learns from her but he won't tell anyone that. A strong independent woman. He wanted to look after her like a second dad because she doesn't ask for help in anyone even on the things that could need anyone's help. He debuted her alone because he knew she can stand alone but also to let her see that being alone is not enough. The girl already knew that but she refused to say it. She knew from the moment she had her own consciousness that people need people. She knew. She knew that not all people are bad but there's still bad people.

"Meeting adjourned." YG said. Everyone stood up and greeted each other. 

"Jiyong-ah!" YG called me. I looked over to where Y/n is but she's halfway to the door. I need to apologize, now. 

"Sajangnim, I'll, I'll just visit your office next time. I need to go." I said and ran. I heard some of the people calling out to me but I decided to ignore it. I got out of the office and in to the hallway but I saw no one. So, I ran to the elevators. I saw Y/n getting in.

"Y/n!" I called out. She didn't hear me. When I got in front of the elevator, the doors are closing in and I saw her there. Memories from the past few weeks flashed back from my mind...

_"She doesn't make promises and she doesn't accept promises. Jiyong," Seunghyun said. Y/n turned to him._

_"I thought you weren't here." she said._

_"If I'm not here, would you pull something funny?" Seunghyun asked._

_"You know me too well." she laughed a little and winked at Seunghyun._

_"Hyung, this is the second time I saw you comfortable when talking to Y/n." Seungri faced the oldest Seunghyun._

_"Really?" Seunghyun played nonchalant._

_"This is the first time I saw you really relaxed in front of a girl. You're often quiet and play around with the others sometimes but there's something in the way you treat her and she treats you. Hyung, do you like Y/n?" Seungri straight forwardly asked._

_"So... Do you like her hyung?" Jiyong asked. He is just curious. Seunghyun is a mysterious man even if they mess around each other. There's still many things that he doesn't know about him._

_"Don't think too much. Seungri's just messing with me." Seunghyun chuckled._

⚜

Hyung and Y/n. She's hugging Seunghyun hyung's side while she's leaning on his shoulder with hyung's arm on her side. Hyung is patting her head then he placed a small kiss on her forehead. She had a small smile on her face just like the smile I saw when he called. I decided not to press the elevator button and watch it close shut.

"I thought you're going somewhere?" YG asked. The others are in tow.

"I thought so too. I just got a message from my Noona reminding me that the appointment is tomorrow not today. My bad?" I laughed awkwardly. _Does YG know about hyung and Y/n?_

The elevator came up to our floor revealing no person inside. I stepped aside and let YG enter first and the others then I went inside. _How long are they together? Since when?_

"Ah! Seunghyun hyung? Where's Seunghyun hyung?" Daesung asked. No one replied. 

"Maybe he went down before us." Bommie noona said. 

"Hyung said, he's going somewhere today right?" Youngbae asked. _Somewhere? Somewhere with Y/n._

"No, I gave him a day off today." YG said. _So, they're headed to his house? probably. She said she's got a jetlag. Are they living together? Is that why he doesn't invite us frequently to his house anymore._

Seungri's phone rang. Accidentally, I saw the caller id. It's Y/n. Seungri inconspicuously covered the screen and answered it. _What does she need Seungri for? She's got hyung._ I pretended not to care. 

"Now? Okay. Okay. I'll be there. Are you sure?" Seungri asked.

"Ah. Arraso." then he hung up the phone. Seungri got teased again saying that he's going to meet another girl today. My eyebrow slightly twitched at the remark. _Do they even know?_

"She's just a friend." Seungri replied. _Friend. Yeah right._

What a person. 


	5. Dinner with Hyung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just a simple get together, what could possibly happen?

**Jiyong**

She dare scold me and question my point of view when she herself does nasty things? Hah! The nerve of that lowerclassman. Yelling at me and not addressing me as her senior. Ignoring me! Who the fuck does she think she is? From now, on, I don't care! 

  


"Y/n!"

  


I turned at the mention of her name. The maknae called her. She's wearing a white t-shirt and black jeans partnered with an old skool vans. It looks good on her...but still.

"No thank you. I just dropped by looking for someone." Looking for someone? your side man called you and the legal one is right beside me. I continued looking down on my meal.

"Who?" Seunghyun hyung asked. Of course, you have to know. You don't even know that this girl might be cheating on you with your maknae member. I shoved some meat inside my mouth and chewed on it until I think it's pulverized. 

"Jiyong, you're stabbing the poor kimchi over and over again. I'm starting to pity it." Youngbae said. I picked it up with my chopsticks and ate it. 

" _Faith_. [1] I mean, Chaelin unnie. She told me to meet her here. I guess not." Oh really? Is that the best excuse you have? I snorted. I see Youngbae leaning down on my side. 

"Hyung? Did you choke on your food? Here! water." Seungri handed me a bottle of water which I accepted. Seunghyun hyung pat my back gently that it hurts. My hyung and my maknae is wrapped around her finger and I can't take that. I don't want them to get hurt. I gulped down the last drop of water and stood. 

"We need to talk, Y/n." I looked at her eye to eye. She nodded and said goodbye to the others.

  


  


I walked in front of her not caring if she's following my walking pace or not. I opened one of the meeting rooms we used to use when we're brainstorming. I opened the door and let her in. I was about to tell her to take a seat when she spoke, 

"Sunbae, I'm sorry for my actions the last time we met. I was speaking disrespectfully and said words that was out of the line and I truly apologize for that." she 90 degree bowed to me, three times. 

"No... I. ahm. Uhh. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. I was so inconsiderate knowing that I am your senior and to hear me speaking like that is so shameful. I'm sorry." She continued staring at her own feet. We remained quiet but not like the first time we both fell silent. This time it is deafening and uncomfortable.

"That... that thing..." I mumbled. What is her relationship with hyung and Seungri? I really want to know. 

"Excuse me?" 

"I saw you riding the elevator with Seunghyun hyung after the meeting. You were close to each other." I said. 

"Yeah, he told me. He saw you looking surprised and didn't even pressed the button to open the elevator." she replied. 

"Then you called Seungri. I was with him on the elevator and I accidentally saw the caller id." I explained. 

"Sunbae, I know you have many questions but I'm the only one here and the other two in question aren't." she said. 

"It's not like I'm curious but to me I think it's bad that you're associated with two men at the same time like... like you know? It paints you in a bad image." For a moment I thought I saw an irritated glint in her eyes then it disappeared. 

  


Her eyes crinkled and she snickered before asking, "Hmm...I think I'm well informed of numerous women and men that has been associated with numerous females and males in and out of the country. As far as I know, my name can't be found in that bingo book." She looks at the ceiling, takes a quick glance around the room before turning to look and raise an eyebrow at me, "I can proudly say that I am not a national lightning rod for slut shaming and another notch on other people's belt." She folded her arms in front as she leaned on the door, still wearing that brittle smile. "I suggest thinking more of trends and patterns, shoes and hats, or sports rather than making false assumptions maybe?" she said with a closed eyed smile. I should feel offended but I'm not?

  


"Anyways, We're good now, right?" she asked. Before I can ask about what she told me, she cuts me off and continues, "I'm going now. I'm sorry again, sunbae." she bowed and left me in the room. 

I returned to the cafeteria slightly riddled with her words as I sat again, I can feel the boys staring at me. I knew they have questions and I'm not sure if I can answer it.

"Yah! Who ate the rest of my bibimbap here!" I snarled. 

"Hyung, I thought you're finished so I ate it. I'm sorry." Seungri apologized. Aish. I clicked my tongue and just ate. 

"Oppa! Have you seen Y/n around here?!" Chaelin asked. She came into the cafeteria looking around and panting from running. 

"She was here awhile ago." Seungri replied. 

"Aigoo, I was running late from the photoshoot. I thought it will only last for a couple of hours. Now I missed my appointment with Y/n!" she whined. 

"So... you mean you're really meeting Y/n here? In the cafeteria?" I cleared. 

"Yes, oppa. I decided to meet here so I can chat with Y/n while eating. I haven't eaten yet." she replied. 

  


Well maybe I am wrong with a lot of things. 

  


  


⚜

  


Seunghyun hyung must have some free time because he stays in the studio while I work on my album. More often than not, YG frequently drops by the studio too. 

"I haven't seen Y/n in a while." Teddy commented. 

"She's busy in Japan, right now." YG said.

"And she's starting to gain attention in western countries too." Teddy nodded. 

"It's because of that 100 most beautiful women in the world thing when she first attended the Chanel event. When she found that out she was upset." YG let out an entertained laugh. 

"She came barging in the office and demanded to know what was going on and if I had something to do with the news. I explained how she got to the list and asked why she was so upset, turns out she was taking a quick stroll in Paris without any disguise on then paparazzis mobbed her and bombarded her with questions about the said story. I heard from her manager she was grumbling how she couldn't take a stroll without catching attention from the media." YG continued.

"There's so many changes in our field of work, she should be prepared to all of these." I replied.

  


"Yes she is. When she was a trainee, I kept receiving interviews and modelling invitations from various agencies including a letter from K.L. [2] himself. I was surprised to see all of them piled in a stack on top of my table. I informed her of it but she declined all of it. Security guards sent reports about suspicious people with cameras lurking around the street and in front of the building approaching Y/n and handing her cards. It was for quite sometime until she brought the matters to her hands. I don't know what she did but after that, no letters were sent to her and no people came in sight of the vicinity of the building." 

"So?" I asked. Now, this conversation only reminds me of the mistake I made. 

"How about I ask Y/n to work with Bigbang?" The ten ears perked up.

"But her schedule is full." Hyung interjected. 

"I don't think she can handle another workload if she's focusing in Japan." Seungri added. So, they're really covering for her. The rest of Bigbang is here taking a breather from the hectic schedule.

"That's not something you guys can decide. Let sajangnim ask her first." I replied. 

  


It made them shut up but Youngbae started agreeing with Seungri and hyung. It didn't help when Daesung voiced out his interest in working with her. I remained silent but I could feel sajangnim staring at me. It made me think, am I not enough for the group? We've been working with Teddy hyung, Choice and Masta for a long time now and it's been good. Why are they suddenly getting interested in her? After all those years during her debut days, why now?

  


"She won't be working full in the album at least just one song is enough. You've seen her work with Youngbae. You guys also need to interact with your lowerclassmen. I noticed that the girls and the seniors are often interacting with her but not you guys. I do not want to tolerate that snub behavior from you. This company is like a family right? why are you ignoring the youngest?" YG chastised.

"Oh, not me! You know I'm pretty friendly with the hoobaes." Seungri said defensively. So friendly, you always get in trouble.

"Ah, I really want to talk to her that's why I'm suggesting that we should work with her. It's just that she's oozing with charisma and strong aura that tells me that she's hard to approach and it screams do not talk to me whenever I see her. However, I talked to her once, I think we can get along." Daesung replied. 

"She's the female version of Sajangnim and his wife in one!" Hyung jokingly said. 

  


I know I'm the one sajangnim is pertaining to. Whatever. I'm not comfortable being in the same room as her when I know I think there's something fishy between her, Seunghyun hyung and maknae. Who knows what she'll do if Daesung and Youngbae gets close to her? I've been the subject of many scandals that includes being partnered with females I know and I do not really know. I don't want my members get into trouble again and hurt VIPs.

  


  


  
⚜

  


They did it again. I thought I could just ignore it and I thought she would take my words seriously but she didn't. I crumpled the paper cup tightly at the sight of Seungri and Y/n leaning down on the billard table. Seungri is guiding her closely, his hand on top of hers and him behind her. Seungri is laughing while Y/n is focusing on hitting the ball. I turned blind eye and went back to the studio without a word. Teddy hyung must have felt my sour mood and decided not to press any further. 

  


Once again, I saw her this time, with Hyung at the empty corridor sitting together while her head is rested on hyung's shoulder. Why do I always bump into one of her businesses! I swear! I don't want to snoop around and get caught up with her. I need to be more careful. 

"Jiyong, I'm wondering if you know any of Seunghyun's whereabouts?" YG asked. This is what I'm worrying. 

"Why sajangnim?" I answered with a question. Should I lie and say I don't know or should I tell the truth? One way or another, he'll know. 

"Nothing. His manager is wondering why he's always in a hurry to get home and he's always dropping by the building." He answered. 

  


"Sajangnim, I've seen him hanging out with Y/n alot. One time he fetched her here around midnight when we were working on a song. Hyung has been completely silent about it but he's close to her because I've seen him with her along the empty corridor. It's not that they were all over each other, I think you saw that on the CCTV but she's leaning on his shoulder like that and stuff. I haven't talked to him about that but Seungri frankly asked about his relationship with Y/n and he didn't deny it or acknowledge it either." I explained.

  


"So it's Y/n he's with. That explains it. That's all I need to know." he smiled. I was expecting him to frown and get mad. 

"That's it? You're not mad!?" I exclaimed. I thought he'd be furious. 

"If it's Y/n he's with, it's fine. He's the safest person and idol now." YG explained. Safest person?

"I don't understand." 

"It's a little confusing but that's how it is." he said.

"Why is he the safest?" 

"Maybe because she's as cunning as a fox and she's Y/n."

"What does that even mean?"

  


  


⚜

  


"Let's go to my house!" Seunghyun hyung exclaimed. He latched himself onto Daesung's back and the second youngest carried him. 

"Who are you! Are you our hyung?" Youngbae asked. It's once in a blue moon that he invites us to eat out or just play around.

"Wae?! Am I not allowed to spend sometime with my lovely members!?" He puts on that big pitiful puppy eyes, his eyebrows touching each other, pouting like a child.

"Aniyo! It's because hyung doesn't invite us often and when we set the place for us to hang out you're always unavailable and Seungri too!" said Daesung. 

"Aish, That's why I'm making it up to you guys! I want to spend the night with my beloved dongsaengs!" he whined. Pouting and batting his eyelashes here and there and pressing his chest on Daesung's back. 

"Is this true? Are you really inviting us to your house?" Daesung faked crying and we all did too. 

"Oh my god! It's a miracle!!" Seungri wept as he kneeled on the floor with both of his hands shaking and praying to Seunghyun hyung. 

  


I stood at the sidelines watching my members goof in front of YG's office. To think that we've come a long way and still didn't change is a special thing. The younger members were hugging the eldest's legs while my best friend is making kissy faces while hugging hyung's torso. They took advantage of the fact that he can't move because the two were hugging his legs.

"Ah, Arasso. Arasso. Let me just give a call." Seunghyun hyung said. The boys let go of him instantly because their hyung might change his mind if they didn't. 

'Maybe he's gonna call Y/n.' When Seunghyun hyung came back, he gave us a go signal. 

"Hyung, who did you call?" the ever curious Lee Seunghyun asked. 

  


"Ah, Park Taehwan wanted to eat dinner with me [3] but I decided I'm gonna dine with my beloved members." The eldest grinned, batted his eyelashes and made kissy faces to each one of us.

  


  
⚜

It's one of these rare days off that we are able to spend time just chatting and messing with my friends. It's not like Seunghyun hyung doesn't spend time with us, it's just that it's a rare occurrence for him to invite us. Oftentimes, Youngbae and I are the ones who would usually offer an invite and the rest would tag along. Hyung must have missed us terribly to the point that he has invited us himself to his humble abode at that or...

  


"I have some wine made in the year 70's and 80's. Let's drink until we finish them, okay? Let's drink it in order, okay?" Hyung said, dragging some vowels with a high pitched girly voice. We all cheered. We're a bunch of liars. We all know we'll pass out with a couple of glasses and won't finish the bottles as suggested. I laughed at the thought. 

  


We ate solid meal before we started drinking. We're all situated in hyung's living room. His living room is a mix of Scandinavian and industrial living style fit for a bachelor. The walls are painted with black but mostly white. His furnitures are well polished that highlights the whole room. His collection of paintings give more color to the monochromatic feel of his house. Wherever your eyes laid on there's a different painting on the wall and an exotic edgy looking furniture piece that for sure, must have cost so much. If there's one place to compare his house, it would be the art gallery or museum. You can see the city lights from the floor to ceiling window because the couch is set to overlook the city. Hyung must be basking in the sunlight during lazy mornings in his pad. 

We're all sitting, messing and teasing each other when hyung's doorbell rang. Our bantering halted and he quickly stood up to see who the visitor is. I checked my phone and it's currently 2:18 a.m. We all looked at each other. 

  


  


"HONEY! I'M HOME!!" said the female with a booming voice. Judging from her accent, she must be an english woman.

  


"A lover?!!" Seungri jumped from his seat. Suddenly we're all sober. Is the eldest of Bigbang secretly married to a foreign woman without us noticing?

  


  


We all scrambled to our feet. Daesung grabbed the wine glasses and made a run to the kitchen. Youngbae took the wine bottles and followed Daesung. Seungri dived for the finger snacks and left for the kitchen. In a snap, all the mess we made is wiped out. Curious, I started heading towards the foyer. Passing by the long corridor of hyung's home are his avant-garde paintings alternately hanged to the left wall and the right wall. It really is like a gallery with individual pen light for each painting. At the end of it, I saw hyung standing looking surprised then a woman threw herself to his arms.

  


"The jet lag is killing me. I know I'm supposed to go home by the end of the week but I really wanted to take a break so I finished everything in one week and three days. I couldn't wait to see you." the woman said, gullible. I couldn't see her face because her arms are circled around hyung's neck. 

"This is a bad timing." hyung's voice sounded alarmed but his actions did the opposite. One of his hand rested on the woman's waist and pulled her close while the other brushed her hair. They stayed like that for a while without noticing me standing in the hallway.

"Why? Did you bring another woman here?" 

"How did you know?!" he asked shocked and a little hurt. Hyung must have been clutching his chest near the heart is, pouting and resting his head on the top of her head. He earned a playful smack on his cheek before she pulled out of his grasp. 

  


  


  


  


  


"Y/n?" 

* * *

⚜

[1] Faith Lee. Lee Chaerin (CL of 2NE1) english name. 

[2] K.L. Karl Lagerfeld's infamous initials. German creative director, fashion designer, artist, photographer, and caricaturist. Former creative director of Chanel.

[3] It was once an on going joke for BIGBANG to tease their eldest about him choosing to dine with Park Taehwan over dining with them. 


	6. Suspicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clearing things is better when messing with other people

**Jiyong**

We are all situated in hyung's living room. Daesung, Youngbae and I are sitting on the long couch while Seungri is sitting on a separate couch and hyung and Y/n are sitting in a love seat. Everyone is confused except for hyung and Y/n. Both of them looks calm and Y/n's just sitting there prim and proper, hyung's arm is on her shoulder like it's the most natural thing to do. Seungri just narrowed his eyes on the two of them. 

_How are you going to resolve this mess now, Y/n?_

"Hyung, you said you're not in a relationship with Y/n or anything!" Seungri said in an accusatory tone. 

"Did I? I told Jiyong not to sweat it because you're just kidding with me. I never said anything about relationships with Y/n." Hyung replied. 

"You got anything to say, Y/n?" Seungri asked, upset. 

"Yes, I have. Seunghyun and I are in a close relationship with each other." she said, straightforwardly. My maknae sat there stupefied.

Seungri stared at Y/n and she returned the stare. For a couple of minutes, the two had a staring game until Y/n bursts out a laugh. Hyung starts to laugh with Y/n and we got even more confused. If this is a different situation, I would compliment her smile but this is making her look like an idiot.

"Are you just going to laugh at us and not explain anything?" I asked. This is getting nowhere. 

"You guys are so funny!!" Hyung struggled to say as he laugh uncontrollably. 

"Relax, we're just cousins!" Y/n supplied.

"You planned on never telling me this?!" Seungri exclaimed. Of course, maybe he had the right to know because he's involved with her. Are they really serious on this! 

"I forgot?" Y/n asked Seungri or more like she's asking herself. 

Hyung cleared his throat before saying, "We're cousins on my mother's side. Her mom is my mother's sister,"

"She's currently living with me right now because she's too lazy to find her own place," 

"The right term is busy," she corrected.

"Then what's your relationship with this one here?" pointed at Seungri who still can't believe the situation unfolding in front of him. 

"What?! I'm her best friend!!" Seungri jumped from his seat then he turned to us. 

"I can't believe this, you really are his best friend?" Hyung asked Y/n. 

"Unfortunately, yes?" she jokingly replied. 

"I hope this clears up the misunderstanding. As of now, Big Bang and YG only know of this, no?" Y/n stoods up and stretches her arms.

"Yes, I don't see the reason to tell it to everyone. Do you?" Hyung asked. 

"Absolutely not! I don't want your name overshadowing mine. I don't want to be remembered as your cousin in this industry, duh!" she said as a matter of fact. "Besides on having connections in and out the scene, it's nice to have a little privacy." She stood up and pat hyung's shoulder.

She bade us good night and she retreated back to the hallway. I turned to look at my hyung who was watching her retreating back with an unreadable expression. After we heard a closing of a door, we're still silent until...

Hyung exhaled loudly as if a weight on his back has been removed. "We're all sober now. I'm just going to get the next bottle and all of you should grab the snacks back here in the living room. Let's resume!"

I thought that the atmosphere between us five will change after that uncalled revelation but, it didn't. Hyung is still himself and I'm relieved that all of this misunderstanding has been cleared. I followed the rest of the gang to the kitchen and picked the snacks I could carry back to the living room. 

  
⚜

The members are still in the eldest's house getting some z's after their drink. It was already 4 in the morning when their leader, Kwon Jiyong or G-Dragon stirred in his uncomfortable sleep. He slept on the sofa in a seating position that made his neck hurt. The last thing he remembered before he fell asleep was that Youngbae was still complaining and annoyed that he's still not drunk, Daesung was goofing with Seungri prancing around the room while the eldest Seunghyun was on his drunk slash cute slash ridiculous antics. It was a sight to behold. His throat was dry and he needs to drink water so Jiyong streched his limbs and tried sitting upright. He felt the fabric move and fell down to his lap. 

_A blanket? Who draped it?_ He thought to himself. He tried to open his eyes but quickly closed it because it was too bright. Jiyong heard some snoring, shuffling of limbs due to the friction of clothes and the leather sofa and... footsteps? He tried opening his eyes again by squinting then slowly adjusting to the lights. It was blurry at first and he can see a person leaning down to the couch across him then it became clear again. 

The person was draping a blanket to one of the members quietly not to disturb their slumber. 

It was Y/n. She was tucking Seungri whose right arm was hanging on the side of the sofa, mouth wide open and snoring soundly. She yawned a little as quiet as possible and pulled her phone from her pocket to snap a photo of Jiyong's maknae. Jiyong saw the mischevious smile on her face then she turned around causing him to panic. He ought not to let her know that he's awake so he slumped to the sofa and pretended to sleep. He didn't know why he did that but he still did. 

He heard no footsteps or any movement from her but he kept his eyes closed. _Why? Who knows? She might still be there. If I close my eyes and refrain from any movement then she might not know that I'm awake_. After a few seconds, he felt that it was time to open his eyes again but he did it slowly only to see that Y/n's figure was still standing there! 

_'What the hell!! I almost had a mini heart attack because of her! Why is she still standing there like a ghost!'_

He kept his eyes closed again and tried to steady his breathing. Unknown to him, Y/n already knew that he was awake because of his upright sitting position and his hands are neatly folded in his lap like he was about to have a job interview but with his eyes closed. She thought of snapping a picture of him but removed the thought. Y/n decides to stand there for a couple of minutes just to make sure that he's really awake or it's just really her sunbae's sleeping habit. When she sees that Jiyong slightly opened his eyes and then his legs jerked upwards due to shock, she couldn't help but laugh but she prevented herself from doing it. She then proceeds to advance towards him and pretend to adjust his blanket while willing herself not to burst out laughing.

  
"If you want to drink cold water, it's located at the right door of the refrigerator. Hot water can be found on the water dispenser... both hot and cold actually." Y/n whispered quietly as she tugs on the blanket. "Also, if you want coffee, the third cupboard on the left above the water dispenser is where it is." She pulls it above his shoulders whilst still whispering. The two of them are so close to each other they could feel each other breathing. "Banana helps with hang over." When Jiyong knew that Y/n has left the room, this time for good. He exhaled the air that he didn't think he was holding. His heart was really racing and he was really awake this time. 

Meanwhile, Y/n entered her room and locked her door. She thought of the scene awhile ago then she laughed on her pillow. 

  
_Have a good sleep, sunbae._

* * *

⚜

**WHITE NIGHT BY TAEYANG** HAS STARTED ON YOUTUBE SO DON'T MISS OUT ON IT 💛


	7. Days Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you know something is up when people suddenly treats you better

**Kwon Ji Yong**

As the cold water touched my lips I felt hydrated again. Y/n didn't really helped when she teased me by whispering in my ear as an attempt because I'm parched. I was wondering why she was still up but I'm so sleepy after drinking so I resumed my sleep. Besides, it's Big Bang's day off tomorow... I mean, today. 

The sun has finally revealed itself to the world as its rays softly cascade to the large windows of Choi Seunghyun's home. One of the sleepy boys, Jiyong, slowly blinks his eyes open. He makes some deep grunting noises as he twists his back and stretch his neck. His eyes travel to the remaining three boys sprawled on the couch and on the floor. _Where's hyung? Maybe he slept on his room._

Jiyong decided to fully wake himself up by cooking breakfast for his members. Well... you know, like pouring them hot water and bring them coffee. Jiyong isn't the best cook among them and Youngbae is but he's still asleep. Moreover, his head is throbbing from drinking last night.

_Stupid hangover._ He arrives to the corridor. Nose twitching, he caught on the faint fumes of what was that? Eggs? Bacon? Whatever. It smells like sunday sleep-in and lazy morning. As he gets nearer to the kitchen, the aroma of croissants, hash browns and french toast wafted through the air. He suddenly felt hungry."Smells amazing," Seunghyun's deep voice startled Jiyong. Tempo just came out of the shower all dressed up in a pajama. He was drying his hair with a towel then he pat Jiyong's shoulder as he passed."I thought you were in the kitchen." Said Jiyong as he followed Seunghyun. The latter just shook his head.

  
Upon setting their foot inside the kitchen, they heard the sizzle of eggs cooking and chopping noises on the counter."If you're volunteering to help, no thanks. Take a seat and wait, I was finishing up. Or you could wake up the sunbaes just in case, you guys have something today." Y/n muttered aimlessly as she scooped the slices of bananas to the blender. 

"There's bread and there's whatever food there on the table. After this, I'm going out. I have a schedule today and I'll be gone until tomorrow. Don't forget to put the dishes on the dishwasher and put them back when they're dry." She put the lid on top turned on the blender then she focused on the pan to transfer the meal.

"If there are leftovers, dear god... properly transfer them to a clean container, use serving spoons and eat what you can take, that you won't waste food and spoil the rest of it. Also, please bring me five smoothie glasses, now." Seunghyun just looked at Jiyong with a _this-is-an-everyday-occurence_ look as he fetch the glasses she asked for. 

Y/n talked and talked and remained clueless that there are three of them in the kitchen until she finished pouring the last smoothie to the glass. Jiyong couldn't help but smile at Y/n who was focused on her task. A light smile spread from his face as he was reminded by Y/n of his own mother and sister. His mom constantly reminds him of the things that needs to be done while his sister always takes care of him especially now that he lives in Seoul with Dami. It was refreshing somehow, to see bits of pieces that matter to him on other people. And who would've thought that he would see that in Y/n. 

  
"And by the way, Good morning." She continued. Soon enough, the rest of Big Bang woke up and followed the scent of breakfast to the kitchen. 

"Do you need help in placing the rest of the food to the table?" Jiyong finally spoke. He sees Y/n slightly surprised that another person was in the kitchen based on how she lose handle on the spatula when he asked. 

"...Yes, please." Her voice suddenly became quiet. 

"Embarassed that someone heard you ranting early in the morning?" Seungri yawned as he entered the kitchen.

"If not for my ranting, the two of you, your houses would look like a dumpster by now. Take a seat." Jiyong placed the plates on the table, lessening the time Y/n has to spend. When the boys are all seated and ready to eat, Y/n gave them the smoothie.

"Drink the smoothie before anything else, it helps with the hangover." She said then grabbed a piece of bread and was about to leave. 

  
"You're not eating with us?" The leader asked.

  
"I'm not wearing pink today." Seungri choked on his smoothie with Y/n's response while Jiyong was clueless.

_What's eating got to do with pink?_

Y/n waved them off and left the house. The boys feasted on the breakfast that she cooked. Banana smoothie really helped with the hangover. 

⚜

  
"Ah, now I'm missing on how it feels like to have a housemate." Seungri whined. The eldest laughed as he attacked his breakfast. 

"Yeah, she's a good cook! Ah, I suddenly felt alone. I miss my mom's cooking." Daesung reckoned. 

"I'm jealous of you hyung, someone cooks for you everyday." Seungri said. Seunghyun just nodded at everyone, taking in the compliments for you. It feels like everyone is complimenting a wife. Oh well, she said she has work to do today. Too bad she wasn't present to hear what they were saying. 

  
Now that Seunghyun was eating, he suddenly recalled what his cousin has said. She has work to do? I thought she has three extra days, Seunghyun frowned. The members noticed that their eldest suddenly stopping eating his fill. She cooked breakfast. The eldest recalled when Y/n cooked something like this in the past. Yeah... she brought him dinner one time because he was too preoccupied in his script. He remembers not hearing Y/n inside the house that night. It felt like he's the only one in the house. Then he found out the next day she didn't come home that night. She cooked lunch when she was off to somewhere for a week without anyone knowing where she's going! Choi Seunghyun's face paled. He dropped his knife and fork and hastily wiped his mouth and ran for his phone. 

  
"Yah!! Seungri!! Go upstairs turn right the second door on the left is her room check THE bag" He shouted. 

  
_Uh oh._

  
The two Seunghyun sprinted in separate directions, the alarms inside their head are ringing. This is not good. The older Seunghyun quickly pressed number 2 speed dial which is Y/n's phone but was directly sent to her voicemail. Dammit! The younger Seunghyun hurriedly opened her room and checked near her bed for THE cursed bag. Meanwhile, Daesung, Jiyong and Youngbae are clueless on what's happening. 

  
The two met again in the kitchen. They looked at each other and shook their heads. Seungri fished his phone in his pocket and tried to contact Y/n's manager while Seunghyun was thinking of the places where she could be in. They paced around the kitchen figuring out where she went. If this continues, they would be doomed. 

  
"The two of you please stop walking in circles, it makes us dizzy." Said Youngbae. 

  
"What time is it?" Asked Seunghyun.

"It's already 9:54 am, why?" Jiyong replied. Seunghyun and Seungri's faces looked horrified. They almost let out a girly scream. 

⚜

The airport is full of bustling people leaving and entering Seoul. Y/n was in a disguise and adjusted her wig as she passed the security. Going for a vacation in Monaco can't be that bad for a couple of days. Besides, she purposely finished all of her activities so she has time for herself. Let's see, five people knew she's out. That's fine. At least I told someone I'm going out. She put on her sunglasses as she bid Seoul a temporary goodbye.

  
As one person leaves, another comes back. The airplane smoothly landed and the mint haired man sighed.

  
"We have safely arrived at the Incheon Airport, Seoul, South Korea. Please unfasten your seatbelts and thank you for traveling with us. We hope to see you soon."

_Home at last._


	8. Headlines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the grand prix and the grand return

Three boys sat on the couch as they watch the youngest and the eldest lose their minds. Seungri bit his nails as he thinks of a way to cover up the situation they are in while Seunghyun stares blankly on his phone as his soul is slowly being sucked out of his body. Y/n, you little... 

  
The sound of the doorbell is like the sound of their funeral.

  
"Let them in." Seunghyun tapped the maknae's shoulder forcefully, pushing him towards the direction of the door.

  
"This isn't my house this is yours Hyung!!" Seungri panicked and went hid behind Jiyong.

  
Seunghyun placed a hand on his forehead and exhaled loudly. He slowly walked towards the door, his death nearing. He didn't even bother looking at the camera to know who the visitor is. He pushed the door open towards his death. 

⚜

"What do you mean you don't know where she is?" The lady pushes her eyeglasses up and sends a sharp glare at them. She looks like a salary woman smartly dressed and professional. She sat on one of the sofa while the two Seunghyun stood in front of her heads hung low in their and the other three were on the sidelines arms crossed 

  
"You see, she's got a good head on her shoulders so she knows what she's doing. Don't worry. She resumes her work on friday, she'll be here on friday, Jaehee." Seungri reasoned. 

  
"That's not the point. We'll be more in trouble because she's not here in South Korea. And she's on her own... again." The lady named Jaehee replied. 

  
"Why are we getting in much more trouble?" Seungri asked. It's not the first time Y/n left the country or left on her own. 

  
"She's here. She just arrived at Incheon a while ago." 

  
Seunghyun is about to pee his pajamas. 

  
"Call her again!! I don't want to face her wrath!! I still love my life!!" The eldest yelled at the maknae who was typing his mobile password as fast as he can.

⚜

In another side of the world, in the middle of the summer heat, people are gathered in different streets where the event is held. They all have their bets on different racers and each of them represent their countries. 

One woman stood amidst the excited crowd holding a binocular in front of her eyes. She eyes one of the racers who was being introduced. Clad in a black and red racer suit, he removes his helmet and greets the anchor. The anchor, a girl, threw questions on the racer's way like she doesn't want him to go. His interview took five minutes, she thought. Closing his interview, the racer smiled and all the girls on the front row screamed his name. 

"Oh, look at that phony smile." She scoffed and rolled her eyes. Yet she's here and will be watching his race.

Monaco is known as the playground for the rich. It's a small independent country on the French Mediterranean coastline. Yacht-lined coasts, Upscale casinos, luxury cars roamed on the streets and aesthetic establishments. You will never catch anyone wearing clothes like Forever 21, here, it's all about the expensive brands. Imagine how much fortune it costs to spend even a night at one of the hotels here, food and other needs not included.

She's one of the spectators who were about to watch the prestigious grand prix. And she's envious of him because he can. I hope he loses, she grumbled under her breath.

  
The racer searched through the yachts, the building's near the pit and through the staffs but she's not there. She told him she'll be watching and they joked about her wearing the most blinding summer dress so he can easily see her. Looks like he's been played. Upset, he walked towards his Formula 1 and prepared.

  
"Hello there, you know I haven't seen you a while before. My name's Travis by the way." The new guy greeted Y/n. Ugh, brats. Good thing is, she's wearing a Dolce & Gabbana DG black sunglass so the guy did not see her rolling her eyes. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean you can easily hit on me. 

  
She ignored him and looked down at the event. The guy, feeling challenged, continued bugging her telling Y/n facts about each one of the racers in the track. As if I don't know, she groaned. Boy, does he not know ignorance is bliss? 

  
"And that platinum white haired guy there? I don't know his name, I think he's just new. Yeah, he's just new. But damn, his F1 is the bomb!" Said the guy, clearly amazed. 

  
"Hyun Ryu from South Korea, he's been around since 2011 won the Spain and Italian GP five times. His Formula 1 is Michael Schumacher's final Monaco Grand Prix-winning 2001 ferrari that costs 7.5 million dollars which is hailed as the most valuable modern era F1 ever sold at auction." She sighed, getting bored with him. Y/n faced the guy named Travis and slightly lowered her sunglasses to take a good look at him. Maybe I could put him into a good use, she thought. 

  
"Ugh. People are starting to flock around here." She pretended to be irritated and leaned on the balcony, letting him look at her slender arms while she tilted her head in an adorable manner. She saw how Travis' adam's apple move up and down. 

  
He took the bait. 

  
"You know, If you're worrying about all these people here in Ermanno Palace, I could like... you know? We could go to Hotel de Paris, I have one of my friends there watching too. We could hang out there, she wouldn't mind." He said, cooly. 

"I don't like sharing. How much do I have to pay for me to get the best view of the Circuit de Monaco?" You asked, innocently. 

"Oh! You don't have to! It's my idea. Let me pay." He said. 

She smiled to herself.

⚜

  
Fernando Alonso and Sebastian Vettel are one of the competitors of the Grand Prix. It's going to be tough one. Currently, Hyun Ryu's in third place behind Alonso and they're on to the 75th lap and approaching the hairpin at the Fairmont Hotel again. This curve has been a curse to racecar drivers, each year there are at least one incident of some sort at the hairpin. 

  
"Three more laps, Ryu." She whispered. 

  
She's always been fascinated with cars and races. Due to the influence of her siblings, she became interested with different cars and watched races whenever she could.

  
"Whoa! That asian guy is good!" Travis said.

  
Oh, how she missed gripping that gearstick/ paddle shift car and driving down that complicated circuit. Inside the race track, it's just you and your car. Everything seems more colorful, sceneries pass by so fast creating splashes of colors, red, cream and ocean blue. You can feel the humming of the engine, the screeches of the tyres and each turn feels like living in slow motion. The rush is exciting.

"Oh shit!" Travis exclaimed, covering his mouth and pointing towards the road at the same time.

  
Y/n brought her binoculars to her eyes and followed where Travis was pointing at. One of the tyres of Ryu's car exploded. The left side of the F1 went slightly airborne and he's having trouble maintaining the car on the lane as not to hit the fences. Her heart raced with worry. 

  
"Thanks for bringing me here. I'm afraid my time is up. I need to go, lad." Y/n bade Travis a hurried goodbye as she left. 

"What? Wait! What's your name?!" Travis tried to catch up to her but three bodyguards blocked his way and another three followed the mysterious yet charming lady. 

⚜

  
If you're in Monaco, save your high heels during the night because the slopes are unforgiving. Y/n was assisted to one of the seats in front of Ryu's pit stop. Right on time, his car arrived and the pit crew is ready to replace the tyre. He went out of the car, removed his helmet and ruffled his platinum hair. He looks so frustrated, she thought. The pit crew worked fast and efficiently while Ryu skimmed through the faces in the crowd. I've never seen him like that, she covers her laugh with her hand. 

  
Monaco has a warm temperature. Guys wear trousers and shirts or polo shirts and women wear long summer dresses, shorts or skirts. Depends on whether you're watching the race on the yacht then most definitely, you wear bikinis. Racer boy squinted his eyes to look because the sun is at it's highest. 

  
He's definitely looking for me, she thought. Y/n removed her kimono cardigan which revealed her bejewelled emerald dress by Dolce & Gabbana. The dress caught sunlight and sparkled brightly blinding those people beside her. Ryu immediately saw her among the crowd and laughed loudly. Y/n remained stoic while she watches him laughing his ass off and wheezing. 

  
"Good luck, dumbass." She mouthed. That's his cue to be serious once again. 

  
She watches as he got inside the car and drives back into the race as the crowd cheered. 

⚜

Monaco Grand Prix has finally come to an end. Y/n stood at the sidelines away from the stage where the final three racers are being awarded. There are flashes of cameras and mics shoving to the racers as the interviewers ask them questions simultaneously. She'll just congratulate him later after all this commotion, she mumbled then walked away from the scene inconspicuously with her bodyguards.

  
"Tadaaa!!" Ryu presented her the silver trophy with twinkling eyes. Happiness spread from all over his beautiful face with a handsome grin. 

  
"My dress is more sparkly and costly than that, duh?" She rolled her eyes. 

  
"I know! But it's very rewarding, to be a part of this grand prix. Heck, I didn't even think about getting to the top three. I was already thankful to get on the race track of Monaco." He said as he admire the beauty of his trophy. 

  
She stood up and threw him in a bear hug. 

  
⚜

The PR department of YG Entertainment is bustling with activities. Office workers ran around the department answering telephone calls delivering headlines and messages from different companies who wanted to get answers from YG. Jung Hwa, Y/n's manager, was asked to meet the President.

  
Yang Hyun Suk throws the tabloid newspaper on the table towards Jung Hwa, "Monaco Grand Prix Highlights: Formula One racer Hyun Ryu, won 2nd Place. Hallyu Star Y/n, spotted! Y/n and Hyun Ryu, Are they dating?" 


	9. Song writers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scandal stunts, scoldings, sister's brother and song writing

**Y/n**

"You have to help me." Y/n turned to Ryu. She received an angry phone call from her manager Jung Hwa nagging at her of her unceremonious out of the country getaway. 

  
A word got out that she was seen watching the Grand Prix now several allegations are being thrown her way. Y/n found out that she's back in Seoul last week and was looking for her. Tabloids and internet pages feasted on the news that she and Hyun Ryu are now dating. How absurd, she thinks as she looks at his god blessed body sculpted into perfection. however, the man was like Narcissus from the greek myths.

  
"Anything for my lady!" He suavely said whilst still looking at the window (he said that the view of the landscape at night in Monaco adds a mysterious touch in his reflection). This is why she could never take him seriously. He's a friend from a long time ago, they met through a party and they belong in the same circle. 

Before she went to Monaco, she already laid out the plans just in case something like this would happen. Good thing is, there's an upcoming theatre play that the two of them will star on. Plus, Elle has agreed to shoot in Monaco for their next issue. Hyun Ryu also known as Zen, aside from being a racecar driver, is also a theatre actor and model so that being said, all is well for the plan. 

  
The two started preparing for the next few days and contacting their managers. They purposely shoot in places where most people would see and the tourist spots to avoid more hunches and to throw the paparazzis off their scent. The producers of the play has started promoting the show after the news went out. Nylon has posted teasers of them as the next cover for the upcoming issue. Surprisingly, the fans and netizens took it positively saying that all of the issues was for publicity. 

  
Hyun Ryu went back to Seoul two days earlier for the press launch of his win then the day after, Y/n arrived. She was bombarded by the press the moment she arrived at Incheon. She was so annoyed by it because she couldn't go near her fans to greet them. I'm going to have to pass a message to my fans to always stick to the right the next time I arrive from overseas, she grumbled. 

  
"Make sure to watch The Tempest, it's my first time working with Zen." She said as she feed the interviewers boring details. 

  
"Is it true that you and Zen are secretly dating in Monaco?" One interviewer asked. 

  
"No." If she reasons more then the media will find more loopholes to create more untrue statements. It's fine like that. 

  
"There are some rumours going on between the two of you that you secretly met two days before his event. What can you say about that?" 

  
She faked a laugh before she entered the car. 

⚜

  
She went straight to YG building had a quick shower and a change of clothes before she was asked by YG himself. A little sermon won't hurt, she mused. Jung Hwa knuckles her head slightly when he saw her, calling her a big headache than Seungri as they ascend towards the CEO's office. 

  
"Do you think you can just do whatever you want just because you can?" YG's orotund voice somehow made her guilty. 

  
"Technically, It is my day off sir. Whatever I do in my free days is not anyone's business. But to answer your question, if I must say so, I can but in this situation yes." She reasoned. Yes, it's true, she was a little unguarded when she was in Monaco but before she goes to a place she makes sure she has a back up plan that would actually work and prove that she's innocent. "Actually, I am partly at fault for not telling my manager where I would be but he's also on his day off so I thought it's best not to disturb him since it's one of the luxurious days that he has gotten in a while. Also, you do know that I always clean up my mess and make sure that I leave sparkly and squeaky clean as white as snow wherever I go sir." She calmly explained. 

"Also, it's not everyday that my name is linked to another human being so it's just normal for the fans and people to react like that because this is the first time. And I purposely did not went incognito in watching the race because it is publicity. See, it really helped the upcoming play I am in and the magazine I collaborated with. It's hitting two birds with one stone." 

  
"You always know how to get out of a situation, Y/n. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Either your cunning behavior saves you or be your downfall. Be careful and be more mindful of your colleagues next time." Y/n and Jung Hwa left the office unscathed, thanks to her. She didn't mind being reprimanded for the reason that it was only once in a blue moon. 

Business is business. She knows that even if she's expressing herself through music, it's still a business. Being a celebrity is a business. That's why she always has to be one step ahead of anyone. She knows her way in this whole ordeal. She knows. Ever since. It is one of the reasons why she's clever with people and know how to talk her way to get what she wants. Everything is a business. 

Besides, she wasn't doing anything bad in Monaco just enjoying her free time with a friend. It's not a bad thing. She also met a prospective philantrophist in the making in Travis. He'd be on her list in no time. She pulled out her phone and tapped on a private app made by someone she knows so well just for their use.

  
_Y/n has entered the chatroom_

  
_707 has entered the chatroom_

  
**707** :  
Y/n!!!! T_T 

  
**707** :   
notice meeee;;;~ 

  
**707** :   
Ah!!! You know I know what you did!!! Or else I'll spread it to the internet!! Notice meee;;; T_T hul~

  
**Y/n** :   
Are you blackmailing me oppa?;

  
**707** :   
Nope;; ^__^ You went to Monaco WITHOUT ME *_* HOW DARE YOU!!! 

  
**Y/n** :   
... ;;;

  
**707** :  
I COULD HAVE SNEAKED OUT WITHOUT MARY CATCHING ME SO I COULD SEE THE PRECIOUS BABIES IN MONACO!!!! 

**707** :   
NOW I'M STILL STUCK IN THIS CHAIR DOING MY JOB AND I'M RUNNING OUT OF PH.D. PEPPER AND HONEY BUDDHA CHIPS TT___TT 

  
**707** :   
Agent seven zero seven... 

  
**707** :   
....is

  
**707** :   
running.... out of... 

  
**707** :   
b a t t e r y... 

  
**707** :   
in..

  
**707** :   
5

  
**707** :   
4

  
**Y/n** :   
... what do you want??? Day off or supplies??? 

  
**707** :   
GAAAAAH!!!;;; 

**707** :   
ARE YOU BRIBING MASTER SEVEN ZERO SEVEN?!! O_O!!! 

  
**Y/n** :   
//the offer expires in 5....//

**Y/n** :   
4!!!

**Y/n** :   
3!!! 

**707** :   
ackk!!~ bring me energy batterieeees and my souvenir from your trip yo!!~ +_+ did you buy me a keychain from the grand prix?????? 

**Y/n** :   
I got you a signed picture of the top 3 racers and their individual autographs. Also, some juicy information on an auction!! \\(^O^ )/

**707** :   
hul!!! You could have saved me from mary vanderwood!! T_T SO SELFISH!! 

**Y/n** :  
I'm sorry;; besides, mary wouldn't let you go, you know that....

  
**707** :   
she's clingy like that ^^;; 

**707** :   
BUT I LOVE ELLY MORE!! kekekeke ^^

  
**707** :   
THE PRECIOUS BABIES I COULD HAVE SEEN IN MONACO!! TT_____TT 

**Y/n** :   
Sorryyyy~ 

**707** :   
3 words 8 letters say it, im yours. 

**Y/n** :   
... are we doing this shit again???;; 

**707** :   
SAY ITTTTT

**Y/n** :   
*sighs* ....i got chips

**707** :   
Dammit you know me too well. 

  
**Y/n** :   
that was 9 letters tho... 

**707** :   
THAT'S THE MIRACLE OF EXTRA CHIP INSIDE A BAG OF HONEY BUDDHA CHIPS!!! *Q* 

**707** :   
!!

**707** :   
MARY VANDERWOOD HAS ARRIVED!! T_T I HAVE TO GO BACK TO MY CAVE 

**707** :   
don't forget my supplies and my souvenir okay!!? Come home once in a while!!! T_T 

_707 has left the chatroom_

**Y/n** :   
I will... just not one of these days. I need to finish my works before I could rest. Everyone, take care of yourselves and eat properly okay? 

**Y/n** :   
V, ... what should I call you now? Anyways, hurry up and decide when's the party going to be held. Be safe. 

  
_Y/n has left the chatroom._

⚜

It's been thirty minutes and my music sheet is still blank. I groaned and slumped on the closed piano.

I've been scribbling notes and doodles on the back of the music sheet yet the lines I wrote seem to make no sense. I wanted to write even just one song so I can start working but my mind went back to the chatroom and my last sent message. I knocked my head on the piano keys cover trying to squeeze some hidden inspiration from my brain. God, give me inspiration, I pleaded.

"That's a creative way to play the piano right there." says a timid voice of a male. Not helping, she thought. 

"Yeah, you might sound timid but you're not." She stood up to look at the bastard. 

Right at the door, is a leaning sunbae with his arms crossed in front of his chest with a cheeky smile. White printed shirt, faded blue jeans and sneakers sunbae.

  
"I'm sorry for being disrespectful. You're going to use the room? Right. I'll be taking my leave." She picked up her things and was about to go. No, she was half sorry and half not. She was frustrated at herself for not doing her work and in her mind for not cooperating! and him arriving just added fuel to the fire. 

  
"No, no. You can stay. I was just... Did I offend you?" He asked. She settles down her things back in place and sat on the ebony leather piano duet bench. Maybe he could help?

"Almost, but no worries. I was just working and some thing just doesn't work out. Then you spoke that whatever statement GD sunbae." She said, frankly. He scratched the back of his head while shyly smiling down at his shoes. 

  
⚜

**Kwon Jiyong**

I slowly walked towards her sitting figure just to mean that I really am apologetic. 

Y/n placed her free hand on the bench. "I'll take that as an invitation," I approached her and waited for her to scoot a little so there is a decent space between us to make it not awkward.

She handed me some music sheets with her notes in it. There are a lot of crossed out words and floating music notes but were left unfinished. "You were using the piano while making this one right?" That's a silly question Jiyong, I thought. I wanted to slap my forehead right here and now for asking that. 

A soft partly supressed laugh came out from her lips. I looked and saw her covering her mouth as she said, "Obviously, GD sunbae." Her eyes held playfulness in them.

"Yah! I was just making sure, you know?" I chortled at my lousy reason. My hands feel a little bit clammy. 

I stood up and went to the far side of the room where the string instruments is located and grabbed the nearest guitar. I went back and sat beside her as she waited while I check and tune the guitar. When I'm sure that the guitar is tuned to my preference, my fingers automatically went to the G chord then I strummed. 

"Ah... the G note." She opened the piano cover and pressed G. I continued by pressing the F sharp up to B then to the rest of the intro. 

  
"When I was..." she started. 

  
"... a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band." I supplied. She's stiffling a smile when I looked up at her. For an unknown reason, my stupid heart skipped a beat. 

"My Chemical Romance is such an inspiration and one of the legends." She sighed and pressed random keys on the piano. 

I scanned the notes again and pointed on the right side of the paper where two lines were darkened to cover up the words. "What does this say?" She leaned in to get a better view of what I was pointing. My nose caught a faint smell of jasmine and ... was that bourbon vanilla?

  
"You perfume smells nice," I shouldn't have said that.

"Sunbae, I'm not wearing any perfume." She replied, looking at me sideways then back to her notes. 

"Searching where my heart went wrong, it feels like it never ends." She read. She retreated back and I repositioned the guitar once again. 

"Can you tell me a small part of the lines' story?" I admit, I am curious. However, I need to know where the lines are coming from to continue. 

"I wanted to tell a story where the person is stuck on the same thing again and again wondering what could happen if they did this instead of that or should have not done something in the first place. 'Cause in that story, they end up not being together but still waiting and not leaving." She explained.

I repositioned my fingers into the C chord and strummed. We suggested different chords then arranged them until we were slightly satisfied of the sound it created. It went on for hours and took notes here and there. Exchanged words and some lines that can be used. At first, I didn't understand the whole picture of the song but upon creating the bridge, it cemented the reasons why of the 2 verses and the chorus. It was asking why do people fall in love at the wrong time or even with the wrong person; why does everything feel so wrong? Why has nothing changed? How do you love someone? Does it really require suffering again and again?

"It's as if my heart doesn't learn. Even if it hurts, when will be the right time? When will my heart and yours be free?" I sang. I've been into several relationships but somehow, down that road, something just doesn't end up right and we go separate ways. Each time I think that the relationship will last but it doesn't. It's like there's an invisible chain that hinders me from giving everything.

"Even if I force myself, I will fight for it. It's always forbidden but I never wanted to leave." I played the last chord and slowly ended.

The two were silent after the song. With heart beats racing and slow breaths, careful not to break the spell. There is some sort of connection that binds that two of them and they still don't know yet. One thing for sure though, for better or for worse, between the two, something has changed. With hopeful eyes he asked,

"It's getting kind of late. Will you let me drive you home?"


	10. This can't be IT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isn't it?

"...This can't be love"

⚜

  
Nobody could wipe the gummy smile of a specific person tonight as he and his companion descended the elevator towards the parking lot. Except maybe by the bystanders and lurking paparazzis outside the gates. The building is located away from the busy road but easily accesible to it, one must take some of the streets if one picks the right station when travelling. Secluded as one might say, the first time you see the contemporary building, some are overwhelmed and some are happy to even see it standing tall. For trainees, one look at the avant garde building is either their future or nothing at all. 

"How about I walk a few blocks away from the building and we meet at the SK Gas station?" Before he could reply, she walked off on her own. Jiyong watched as she disappeared into the alleys he sometimes walked to escape prying eyes. 

Jiyong pulled his hood over his face and walked towards his lamborghini. He hears some clicking and squealing from the spectators as he slipped inside his fancy car. For some reason, he brought out his perfume and sprayed some inside the car fanned it so it would spread and pumped it again to his wrists and neck. Why is he doing that? He doesn't know.

He drove off to the said gas station, turned off the car's headlights and parked in an unsuspecting lot. He didn't leave the car instead looked at his side mirrors and rear view mirror. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and waited some more. It was five intersections away from the building so Y/n would really take some time getting here. Either she would take a cab, cross shortcut alleyways or take the bus. He slightly lowered the car window so he could easily call her if she walks to far. 

"Did I make you wait?!" Y/n appears out of nowhere and slammed her hands on Jiyong's car hood that made him jump on his seat and almost let out a shrill. He wheezed from her surprise sneak attack, his soul almost left his body as he clutched his chest.

He turned on the headlight and sees her walking towards the side of the car to the passenger seat while she was shaking from laughing. He pressed one of the buttons in his car to open the door. Jiyong already has one foot on the pavement to open up the door of the passenger seat but was stopped by Y/n. She slipped inside, close the door and before Jiyong could assist her in putting seatbelt, she already managed to put it across and with a satisfying click, they're ready to go. He was left speechless and his arms are just hanging on the air about to grab the seatbelt for her. Jiyong managed to come back to his senses and cleared his throat. She was looking at him clueless of what she has done and was conveying a message that says: "so? What are we waiting for?" He started the engine again and they drove off. 

"Oh, you don't listen to music when you drive?" She asks, noticing the silence well... not completely but the lack of music inside his car. 

"I do, you can connect your phone if you like." He suggested, his eyes glancing at her for a second. Y/n didn't like his idea so instead she opted for the car radio. Not so shortly, she got tired of tuning the radio in which her companion sensed. 

"I have like a pouch on the back, if you can pick it up for me please?" She obliged. She switched the light on and placed a hand on the driver's seat to keep her balance then she leaned in and pat the seats until she got hold of something. 

"Oh my god. You keep cds on your car? In this day and age? I don't believe you..." she said, amazed at the pouch that is filled with cds. She stole a glance at the laughing Jiyong and into the streets then back to the cds. 

"Turn right then after three spotlights you turn left at the first cafe you see on your left." She instructed as she picked a cd and inserted it to the cd player. He hummed in response and waited for the traffic light to turn green.

The sound of soft piano and wind instruments resonated inside the car. The First Lady Of Song moves freely and harmoniously with her innate ballad voice. Late in the night, almost all of the city's asleep, two headlights pass the building where she's supposed to be. Jiyong's car entered the expressway, he didn't mind taking a detour on the way. In fact, he's more than happy to spend some more time with the girl who is inches from him. He stole a glance at her as she opened the window and let one hand out, gently as if riding the waves she moves her hand back and forth. 

He hears her humming with the song. He now wonders if, Seunghyun, his hyung and Seungri, his maknae has seen this side of her. She leans on the windowsill with a sigh, feeling the cold thin air on her face. I needed this distraction, she thought. 

"I never would have imagined you listening to jazz songs." He said. 

"And I never thought that you keep cds in your car and also listen to these kind of songs, sunbae." There goes the word "sunbae" again.

"I guess we really don't know each other," he slows down on the curve and sees a long light from the harbor. 

"Yes, we don't." She confirms. They hear the waves crashing and hitting the rocks on the cliff and the scent of salty air. 

He skillfully parks his car incognito in the woods facing the beach. He turns off the engine and the two remains silent. They stayed inside the car listening to the sound of the distant lull of waves as they caress the sandy shore and sound of the cars passing by. Jiyong thinks that in that moment, words were not needed but instead just the presence is enough. 

"No sobs, no sorrows, no sighs." She sings the words softly, as if talking in a normal voice loses the sound of nature and man-made. 

  
Jiyong understood. He is an introverted guy, shy and far from G-Dragon's charismatic bad boy image. He learned from a young age that in order for you to learn you must learn to be quiet. 

The two figures went out of the car and descended from the hill to the seashore. Jiyong walked a few steps behind you. Observing and shining his phone's light on where you step. The red lighthouse shone to the sea and bokeh of lights envelop the beach as soon as the two of you walked near. He wanted to feel the air without the mask and the hoodie obstructing it but that would attract attention. 

In stillness, you hear many things and learn to use your mind and heart to weigh it. If it does not do you any good, you must leave it. It taught him to be more observant and alert in his surroundings. The more he learned that in this world and the society that he lives in, there are too many faces and not all are true. 

Jiyong catches up to your pace subtle. You crouched down and undid your shoe laces. He also crouched down and was about to touch your other foot when you told him not to. "You're not taking yours off? The sand might get into your car later." He jokingly reasons that he'll just get a carwash tomorrow when that happens. "What's the point of taking a walk by the beach if you don't want to feel the extent of it? At least feel the warm sand on your feet and inhale the salty air." You pick up your shoes and clap them together to remove the sand on the soles. 

"People like us can't afford the mundane things in life at least not without the cameras capturing it. We're always hiding almost like fugitives when we're in public." You point out the masks on your faces and the hoodies you wore before continuing, "You should enjoy it while it lasts." Jiyong looks at you surprised and intrigued. Still on a crouching position, he starts to remove his socks and shoes.

No words of small talks were exchanged as the two of you resumed walking on the shore quietly listening to the sea's music.

His past lovers would always complain how quiet and secluded he was and that that personality was so unexpected from _G-Dragon_. They all wanted that flashing cameras everytime they go out and showcase them to the world that they are his lover. But he values his privacy, he likes his solitude and living in peace. And this person somehow, she felt that way. In his many failed relationships, he has looked for someone who appreciates the simplest of life. He looks at the girl beside him whose back is facing him as he remembers Ella Fitzgerald's voice reach his ears singing,

_"This can't be love_   
_I get no dizzy spells_   
_My head is not in the skies_   
_My heart does not stand still_   
_Just hear it beat_   
_This is too sweet to be love_

_This can't be love_   
_Because I feel so well_   
_I love to look in your eyes_   
_I love to look in your eyes"_

**Look at me.**


	11. Pastel heads

* * *

"Once upon a december, someone holds me safe and warm," -Liz Callaway 

* * *

  
⚜

Look at me. 

It was crazy. But somehow it was like some sort of magic incantation that Jiyong recited and did something that would maybe turn things around maybe for the better in his life. It was just an insane thought in his mind not really minding if it came true or not. Somehow, upon the thinking and whispering of his mind, someone or something heard it. 

"If you turn and look my way, I'll surrender...I'll be yours until the last of my breath." He thought as he stares at this person's delicate figure, allowing himself to feel things that maybe he shouldn't feel so quickly. 

He closed his eyes and counted slowly from one to ten.

He felt her footsteps stop. 

  
⚜

  
That morning when the two housemates woke up, done their morning rituals, you find yourself getting scolded by your cousin, Choi Seunghyun. His words entered one side of your ear then went out to the other as you poked on your sunny side up. You waved him off telling him how you understand and would never do it again then he continues to rant about how lucky you are that one of the sunbaes offered to give you a ride back home. Thank God that he was thinking and left out the part that you and him took a midnight drive to the beach. 

  
It wasn't like he didn't know the road to her cousin's house. When she told him the way, it was his decision to either take her instructions or not. Jiyong would have probably known that when they see the first traffic light, they would arrive at the building. He most likely knew the shortcut to the expressway because he didn't question your directions. _Maybe he also wanted to get away._

You're not in a rush to go to work. In fact, you can go after lunch because your schedule permits you. So you did, you bask in the morning glow of Seunghyun's living room by reading a new book, sipping earl grey tea, and Sergei Rachmaninoff's The Bells playing in the background reminding you of your days living in Moscow, Russia with your wanderlust grandparents. Speaking of grandparents, the two Seunghyun and your sibling almost... almost got into trouble because of your getaway. Somehow, they managed to stitch up some of the details your manager told them and the recent events that happened secured it. 

Looking back, you survived one year. Days and nights, minutes and hours without him. You can live without him. You can. And you will. You space out sometimes but because Hyorin, Seungri and Seunghyun are there, it becomes bearable. There's still an ache somewhere but it doesn't hurt the same way before. It doesn't hurt the same way as before and that's good. Someday, it will be gone. 

You dropped by the hair salon before work. Your hair has gotten quite long by now and it's becoming difficult to maintain it especially combing it. The staff greeted you and you met Dara on one of the seats getting a hair cut. You sat on the seat beside her as the hair stylist prepped your hair and the two of you chatted. 

  
"Your hair has gotten quite long, Y/n. Are you going to cut it?" Your unnie asked. 

"I'm having trouble with it when combing it mostly on days where I'm so tired and lazy to put on conditioner and let it dry." You groaned. Dara and the stylist laughed but you shook your head no. Your mind recalls a specific pastel color, an unusual color for an icecream and a flavor for it. A similar color to the sky, cerulean and a color that shares the same name of a plant that uses it as a flavor.

"Actually, I'd like to keep the length but I want a new dye." A memory of the nights where he's tucked in your arms, your hands on the strands of his soft hair as the two of you are in slumber crossed your mind.

"I want a pale color."

⚜

  
You felt good leaving the salon feeling like a brand new person. Your hair, soft and smelling like chemicals but that didn't matter. You got a new hair color that you haven't worn before. You felt soft and on the clouds because of its tint and unfettered. Plus! It fits your YSL cropped leather jacket, white shirt tucked in your black knee ripped jeans and cream pumps then you head to YG.

You hear praises and surprised comments on your hair from the glam team and you just send them thank yous and laughs on your way to the conference room. You linked arms with your Lee sister and the leader of 2NE1, CL and talked to her in the elevator until you guys arrived to the room. 

"That's an unusual color for you, Y/n! You look good in it!" Gummy unnie ran her hand on your hair down to your hand and you gave her a smile then you both hugged. She's like a big sister you never had. 

  
You, 2NE1 and Gummy are the first ones who arrived so you all talked about anything in general. The conversations continued when Psy, Seven and Tablo arrived, the guys fooled around and laughter ensues. The room grew louder when Seunghyun opened the door and shouted 'What's up we, Big Bang!!' followed by Psy's big movements as the rest of Big Bang entered and greeted everyone. You gave them a bow and returned to your seat. 

  
Seungri walked over to your side to the empty seat beside yours but Jiyong already placed a hand on the seat so he decided to sit on the next one. Jiyong's eyes locked with yours as he gave you a smile and returned it with a curt nod. Dusty rose color isn't a bad hair dye, he thought. 

  
"You're getting prettier everytime I see you Y/n-ssi!" Psy complimented your new dye as your cheeks grew hotter and you sink lower on your seat. No matter how long you have known these people, you still can't get used to the attention and compliments they give you. It's too unnerving, you feel your hands go cold. 

  
"Oh you know, I'm just a pretty girl in general Psy oppa," you joked as you flipped a strand of your hair. "I was about to compliment your slick hairstyle today too!" Everyone shared a laugh. 

"Aish, you say that but your cheeks are the same color as your hair now!" Seungri teased. 

"Get out of my hair Richard!" You called Seungri by his english name as you pretended to remove something from your hair that made everyone laugh.

Seungri is older than you by one year while you and Chaelin are the same age. You debuted one year after 2NE1 which makes you the little sister (hoobae of hoobae) in the family. There were some comparisons between you and 2NE1 but you proved to be different and a new color which separated you from the stigma. Your debut was a success up until now and you've received many awards and love from the growing population of your very own fandom. You were very thankful for each and everyone everyday. 

"How about a collab with me Y/n?" Tablo and Psy asked simultaneously which suprised the both of them.

"I would very much love to!" A smile graced your face. The conversation was cut short when Jinusean and YG arrived. 

  
⚜

The meeting is down to the last subject and everyone sighed. It was a long meeting and they all wanted it to end. YG's secretary entered the room for the nth time and whispered something to him then left the room. Shortly after, the door opened again revealing a guest. The tall lanky guy with long shaggy turquoise hair that sweeps slightly to the left a little bit covering his eye greeted everyone and shook hands with YG. The two Seunghyuns were astounded and indiscreetly shifted their eyes to a specific female then back to the guy. 

"He will be working with us and will be in the tour to take official photos." YG's words clouded Y/n's mind. Her heart is working overdrive and being constricted at the same time. "Please introduce yourself,"

Mint haired guy bowed, "I'm Kim Jihyun. I go by the name V in the industry. I'm honored and delighted to work with all of you." Who would have thought that she would miss that gentle voice of his that has always warmed her heart. 

  
"V is quite popular to the photography world, right?" YG asked while the photographer tried to shook the artists' hands and greet them one by one. He became reluctant when he came face to face with the two Seunghyun but they paid their respects. As he comes closer to her direction, Y/n's insides began to panic. 

"Yes he is. I've seen his photos, they're brilliant." The older Seunghyun replied to YG, his eyes following the photographer's figure. 

Jihyun is now in front of a familiar face he knows. The one whom he poured his heart and soul, now, a memory from a long time ago. He wonders, if so much has changed. He offered his hand slowly, he fears that she might just slap his hand away because of the last time they met. "Pleased to meet you." He says quietly. He tries to make eye contact but she's looking down at his open palms as if he wants to take her away from this world. 

Funny how things turn out for them. One moment they were the you and I against the world couple then one second they became strangers. The people around them thought that they were the lucky ones who stayed in love after so many years yet they didn't. Maybe it was because they started young but then reality sinks in counting one to ten, they took it in and before they knew it, they grew up. 

  
Two pastel heads stood face to face shaking hands with lingering eyes."It's not pleased to meet you. It's supposed to be it's nice to see you again, V." It's in the way she says his name that pained him. They really are strangers now and he has to accept it.

Y/n quickly removed her hands from his and sat down. The warmth of her hand still lingers in his like a ghost. Jihyun exhaled the air he was unconsciously holding and continued greeting the others. The others passed their conversation as two individuals who mught have worked with each other in the past. The meeting resumed as Jihyun took a seat across Y/n. Her eyes paying attention to YG and with an unreadable expression. 

  
⚜

The ones who knew what was going on were Gummy, Hyorin, Seungri, Seunghyun, Youngbae and 2NE1. All of them piled inside the elevator except for Hyorin (she's not a YG artist) with Y/n and the rest of Big Bang as an addition. YG invited them for a company dinner with Jihyun and are now going down to the parking lot. The elevator closes and everyone was silent but curious of Y/n's thoughts on the interaction that has taken place with the exception of Jiyong and Daesung who are clueless of it. Nobody wants to sprang the question to her as they descended in silence until,

"Hello darkness my old friend," she sang and everyone laughed. 

"I've come to talk to you again," Seunghyun added. Now everyone except Jiyong and Daesung started laughing uncontrollably because of Seungri. They all find it funny because of Y/n's situation and they're making fun of it and making it not a big deal. Obviously, he was pertaining to Jihyun and Y/n's small talk a while ago.

Anyone who knows the two of them didn't see it coming. Y/n was still herself but now she's silent than her usual. The two Seunghyun observed that. They only found about the breakup when Y/n was advised by YG to take a break and talk to him when she's rational again. YG knew that Seunghyun and Y/n are cousins and that Seungri is her bestfriend so he subtly gave them a push to keep an eye on her but not telling them the reason why.

  
She didn't ran after him when he left. She didn't text nor called him after. She didn't cry but that doesn't mean that there was no pain. She slept through that day hoping that sleep would dissipate that wrenching pain. She woke up feeling fine. Got out of bed and spent her usual morning. Went to work and accomplished everything. Told her friends what happened, she hears their apologies but she doesn't need them. It was just a breakup. She opened her phone to type a message but stopped.

_Who was she sending a message to?_

The days flash by her eyes and her meals became less and less until some days she does not eat at all or she eats too much. Sometimes she unconsciously mentions his name like some memorized song and it left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Days turned into weeks, she found herself spacing out more often. Maybe it was just a slump, she thought. Her friends became more and more worried about her but she assures them she's fine. 

It was just a breakup. 

Her letters seem like gibberish to her. She locked herself inside her room and comes out when she's thirsty or hungry. 

One night, she let herself feel the entirety of the pain when he left. She let their memories crash like the tides in her mind. That night, she let herself accept that he was gone. She took the time to sell it all out. 

The following morning, she cooked breakfast, conversed with her cousin and went to see her friends. She talked about the topic she's been avoiding and some of the weight has lifted off her shoulders. She roamed around the streets of Seoul in a complete disguise and discovered new shops and routes. She bought new books, writing pens, notebooks and music sheets. Went to the arcade to play the games she never thought she'd play. Coming home, she tried a new recipe she found on the internet. Seunghyun told her it was delicious. She listened to undiscovered songs and bands. Took a bubble bath with a different scent rather than the one she's used to. Lighted a new scented candle and opened her curtain blinds. 

She said her prayers that night, with hopes of a new day. Until now, she's been struggling to get used to it. Some days she would space out and make the people she's with worry. However, her spacing out has become less frequent than before. Hyorin always checks up on her from time to time by giving her calls or text messages when she's busy with work and takes her out for short vacations and adventures. Seungri's still pestering her with annoying text messages but it helps her a lot, he's there to cheer her up when he notices her spirits are low (you won't tell him that, you don't want to boost his growing ego.) and he listens to her musings and whatnots all the time. Seunghyun's been monitoring her making sure she eats and rests fully especially on free days and fetching her when his location is near. His childlike attitude comes out when at home and makes the house lively so you went along with it. Gummy provides you with good advices and big sisterly love and also 2NE1 who's been a breath of fresh air to you. 

  
You've been in the dark for so long, you wanted to see some light. Just when you think you're emerging from the dark, he comes out. With his radiant smile, gentle features and all that he is. It makes you feel so exposed. Even if you don't say it outloud, you missed him. You definitely missed him but you're not taking him back. It's not your ego whose talking but a self promise. A promise that you have made, that you would never break and the only verbal promise that you had taken. It's for yourself. 

You have realized that it's not about letting it go but setting yourself free. away. apart from it. 

  
To grow anew.

It was summer when his warmth left you cold and shaking. Now it was almost winter when he returned, but you already knew how to make fire to keep yourself warm.


End file.
